Hi Carrie,

You know your Dad better than we do. Ask yourself whether he would listen, or would he just carry on fighting even if he knew the chances of getting through this are getting slimmer. He knows he is in the last chance saloon, my guess is he thinks he'll give it one last go even if the odds are against him.  

Only he can make the decision about when to stop treatment. My Mum was in a similar situation and took a long time to decide when enough was enough. Not everyone in our family agreed with her decision to stop treatment at first, but those of us who were seeing her deteriorate day by day fully supported her. Now that I'm the one with cancer, I just hope my own family will respect my decision when I feel the time has come to call it quits. It isn't an easy decision for anyone to make, especially when you know that whatever you decide people will be hurt.

Good luck
Dave

Hi there.  II am sorry to read about your situationj.  If your dad is dead set against talking about what is happening then it might seem pointless to keep banging your head against a brick wall.  I wondered if your dad would be agreeable to the consultant telling you the situation after telling your dad.  Then at ;east your dad would not have the problem of telling you about what is happening and how he is feeling.  You would still have the difficulty in telling your dad all the things you want to say to him but at least you would have an idea of where things were going.  There is - as I am sure you feel - there is no easy way through this.  I don't know if you have read much of this website but I am attaching a link to a section called Coping with Cancer which amongst other things contains advice to family and caregivers; I hope there is some stuff that will help you there.  Annie

www.cancerresearchuk.org/.../coping