Hello Jennicx 36 and welcome.  It sounds as though your grandmother has had a busy life, caring for the family and holding everyone together.  Let us hope that she now has a peaceful death.  This is the time to say everything you want to say to her; how much you love her and appreciate everything she has done.  Be there for her as she was to you in your younger years.  Sadly we are all going to die one day and all you can do is give her love, attend to her needs and be there as much as you can.  Make sure that anybody she would like to see is contacted. Has she talked about any wishes for her funeral?  You I am sure will be happy to repay all she has done for you now that she needs your care.  Best wishes to you and your family.  Annie

Hi there ..

I'm on the other side to you .. I'm a nanny with cancer .. and my granddaughter Emily, in the pic is my reason to want time with her .. she is my world ... my reason to breath .. so I know that connection you have too .. and I know if this cancer takes me one day, I'll watch over her from up there .. 

When someone is that close to you .. they don't leave, they live tucked up safely in your heart ... your nan has been there, to give you lessons in love and life, but think she's very tired now .. and those lessons will see you through your life's journey too .. when you look in the mirror ... she's right there you are a quarter of her ... so take any time you have and say all that's in your heart .. share tears.. hugs ... and leave nothing unsaid ... I've told my granddaughter one day I'll be the star in the sky next to my mum's star ..and when she looks up I'll be right there ..

Sending you a big hug ... chrissie

Thank you Anne, I feel that she wants to be enclosed about how she goes and when she goes. I notice she has a hard time letting the family know what’s happening. I think this might be because she’s not ready and she’s afraid. Which is understadable but it makes things a little more difficult. I don’t know what to say, or how to say anything reguarding it at all. 

Appreciations, jenni. 

Oh your poor gran; how sad for her.  Do you think she might respond to a direct question, kindly put about how she is feeling about things.  Is seems to awful to be terminally ill, frightened and unable to talk to anyone about how you are feeling.  But ultimately I suppose you have to go along with her and how she feels.  Annie

Hi Crissie, 

sorry for the delayed response. I think reading these are quite unsettling as it only reminds me more of her.. but thank you for taking your time to respond, I’m very sorry about your discovery. I couldn’t possibly imagine what you’ve been gowing through. I wish you the best of luck, I don’t do much praying but I’ll definitely keep you in mine..

I will certainly keep all that you have said in mind. I really want to be there for her, I want her to be able to feel comfortable talking to me and informing me about any upcoming news as I feel she might fear upsetting us.. although I suppose I understand where she is coming from. I just want her to feel like she has someone.. 

i don’t know, I guess I’m thinking really hard about this.. again thank you.  I appreciate your time and I wish you the best. 

Best of wishes, Jenni ️

Annie, 

I’m not so sure she’ll want to open up to anyone, she’s always done things on her own. She’s a strong woman, for the most part used to feeling independent, I suppose I can only hope. I’m off to see her this weekend, I’ll try to get one on one time with her. I’ll see if I can get her to feel semi comfortable with talking to me, she doesn’t tell anyone much of anything. I’ll keep this as updated as possible, I’m quite busy with school and work. 

Cordially, Jenni

Hi again; have been away for a short break.  Hope your weekend went well and you were able to talk with your grandmother.  It is so hard when you are having trouble keeping yourself together but feel your first priority has to be your grandmother's welfare and wishes.  Annie