Hi All,

Have been looking through posts and have found it so warming, i have recently found out my mum has cancer. 

My dad rang to tell me on my third day of work at my new dream job, i had just moved to london the weekend before and was devastated. I got the train immidiately home, my mum didnt want to speak to me. constantly surrounding herself with her friends and people who had been through cancer themselves. She has become extremely distant to my sister and i, my sister had just given birth when we got the diagnosis so its been extremely hard for her. It was her second child, but she had gone through post natal with her first and the news about mum set her off again. My sister and I are best friends, and it upsets me hearing her struggle on the other end of the phone. I try as hard as i can to see her often but i cannot afford to go as much as i want to on my wage. I feel like she is resenting my mum as she has stopped ringing her, or even ringer her back. Mum is becoming harder and harder to contact. She stays in bed all day, either waiting for chemo or watching netflix. I went home for the weekend and was shocked that she hadnt left the house in 2 weeks. 

I am finding it hard keeping my family together and close whilst juggling a new job/house/city/boyfriend. In no way do i want to be selfish, but i find it so hard ringing and texting them and making sure everyone is okay and no one rings me or rings me back. My family have always been so super close, but it has taken its tole on the family dynamic. My sister is struggling raising two children on her own whilst her husband works away, and my mum obviously having cancer is becoming distant and shutting herself off from everyone. 

Sorry I understand i have vented here, but i find it really difficult to talk to anyone about this. My friends are all travelling or forgetting and work is horrible.

xxx