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Losing dad soon

Third.time.down
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Hi,my dad has limited time left,being diognosed with stage 4 lung cancer,he has so much wrong with him that the time frame seems not far off (bladder cancer,cancer found in bowel(small) copd etc etc 

hes only just finished 5 days of radiotherapy and that's all that's offered,and the side effects are there...just like mum,but the breathing is so much worse! The copd is worse and even the nebuliser I brought isn't helping much,I'm spending a week at a time with him due to 4 kids and miles away but wish I could do more(dads 69) 

i lost my mum/nan a few years ago. Mum in a hospice and nan I had live with me.

dad has said he wants to be at home and I will make sure that is the case

but what will I be expecting especially with the copd and breathing 

honesty please x

  • Welcome to the forum third.time.down although I'm really sorry about your dad and the situation you find yourself in. 

    Do you have any siblings or other family that could help out with looking after your dad? If not, it may be worth looking in to what practical support is available to help you look after your dad when you can't be there.

    I can't say what it will be like in regards to your dad's copd and breathing but I do have some general information about what to expect in the final weeks and days or a person's life. Due to what's being discussed it can be a tough read so do only have a proper read through when you feel you are ready to do so or have someone with you.

    Do keep his GP/medical team up-to-date with his breathing, especially if you think it's got worse as they should be able to help make it more manageable. They should also be able to give you a rough idea of what to expect with his copd so do have a chat with them to find out more.

    Again, I'm really sorry you're having to go through this but the Cancer Chat community will be here to support you every step of the way.

    Kind regards, 

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Offline in reply to Moderator Steph

    Thank you for your kind reply

    Most greatful xx

  • Offline

    Hi. I'm sorry to hear about your dad. COPD combined with other things is quite challenging. My mom recently passed away. She was only diagnosed with COPD three years ago. Up until that point she hadn't been tested and hadn't complained about her breathing so we didn't know how bad it was. 

    But over the last two and a half years she was pretty much in and out of hospitals due to the breathing. She was often hooked up to the oxygen tube in her nose while in hospital. At home she had three types of inhalers, plus a pill to help manage the symptoms. It was very up and down.

    In December she went in to the hospital for a broken bone and never left. During that time she broke her leg, was diagnosed with lung, breast and leg cancer and had a severe exacerbation of COPD that landed her in the ICU. This was not something we were at all prepared for. 

    I knew her COPD would get progressively worse, but I didn't know what to expect. She was hooked up to a BIPAP machine to help her lungs function for a week on and off. It was very sad to see her wearing it. It made it hard for her to talk, and it pressed so hard on her face that it cut her nose open. 

    She recovered somewhat from the exacerbation but her body was weakened from the cancer. Her breathing wasn't good. She had to keep an oxygen mask on or her face would start to turn red! This was during her last five days of life. 

    The doctor basically said she died mostly from COPD because the cancer had weakened her body so she just couldn't fight the disease.

    However, the doctors did whatever they could to make her comfortable during all of this. The most stressful part was the ICU. But they were sedating her a lot. Which is both good and bad. In the end she just wanted to be permanently sedated because she knew she was going to die and didn't want to suffer any more.

    I hope hearing my story helps a bit. I know it's not a happy story. But as long as your father gets some kind of medication to keep him comfortable, he shouldn't suffer too much. Somehow for some reason, opiates actually help a person cope with breathing problems. 

    Sending my kind wishes to you 

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