I almost feel fraudulent writing on here. It isn’t me who has cancer it’s my partner. He is 46, I am 38. We have 2 daughters together 11 and 12, he has 2 sons as well 21 and 26.

Where to start and what to say? He was diagnosed with germ cell cancer with no primary tumour last October. He had 3 rounds of BEP chemo, pretty rigorous but he did brilliantly, slept mainly. The girls were super strong and we were all relieved to finish treatment and be told it was clear.

i am currently sitting in the hospital garden awaiting a clinic appointment. A new lump emerged only weeks after being told he was ok, after many tests and much waiting (we ha e become used to the endless waiting), they have said that they can’t determin what it is. They want to believe it’s germcell cancer still as that is curable, the alternative is CUP (cancer of unknown primary), which is not curable. He is going to have an op to remove the newest lump (it’s in his lymph nodes in his neck), they will do more tests and hope with everything crossed it can be diagnosed.

I guess I am writing because there is nothing else to do but share our story and listen to yours. He is silent, he does not talk. I am frightened for us all, it’s a roller coaster but always one day at a time. 

Thanks for hearing me 

xx