The best way to support

Hey, my Dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer earlier this year. He recently gave up chemo due to the symptoms and over the last few weeks has declined substantially. Although it hasn't explicitly been said, it's looking like he won't have longer than a year. We've always been very close and he shares his day to day updates with me but hasn't opened up to me or my Mum about what's to come. I think he perhaps sees it as protecting us to some extent. I'm worried that he has so much going on and isn't talking things through with someone. I dont want to push him and have told him I'm there for him but am worried about him.

  • Hi there ... and welcome to our little chat room ...

    I'm so so sorry your dad's been given this news ... and I know you must feel devastated. . But my mum died of a heart attack one Monday morning with no warning ... she phoned me that morning about coming up mine the next day ... at 5.20 that Monday afternoon she died ... there was no time to say goodbye or I love you ... or how proud I was to have her for my mum ... 

    What I'd have given for just one more day .. or even an hour ... you have the time that was taken from me .. if it were me, I'd make every day special ... I'd share tears, hugs, and tell her all that was in my heart .. I'd ask her all about her life and the things that she did when younger .. I'd leave nothing unsaid ... 

    Now I'm on my cancer journey, I've no idea how long or short my journey will be .. but I'm packing a lifetime into each day .. I want to leave good memories for those I love .. I just think I'm here today .. and I look at everything with new eyes .. l spent xmas in Florida.. I've laughed with my family .. as well as sharing tears .. 

    Your dad is probably protecting you both .. while trying to come to terms with it himself ... I go off on my own occasionally to think ... but if you and your mum walk beside him on this journey... let him lead the way ... support him in whatever he chooses ... you will have the time to make more memories to keep in your heart ... grab every day with both hands .. and don't think too far ahead ... try to live in the day .. sending you a big vertual hug ... Chrissie