Hi Jules

Thank you again for your reply if you could please read my reply to Vatch I have opened up a bit more and explained a bit more of my feelings and what is going on in my life.

Today I took a friend to her hospital appoinment which to be honest I didn't want to because I am so fed up with them especially as I felt so let down yesterday, but I did because I don't like to let people down. It was good really because I told her how guilty I felt yesterday for being so tearful and fed up with my life and she was really supportive and understanding and suggested that once a week we go out shopping for a couple of hours so I can forget about everything which I said I would. Well as long as my husband is well enough.

Today was another day and we both woke up grateful that we had each other. If we have to wait because they want to give my husband the best chance of life and if it takes a few weeks longer than that's what it is. 

Thanks again Jules 

Victoria

Hi Victoria

Having read your replies to Vatch (and me) it showed me just how much strength you have, not only now but over the years.  This does not take away the fact that whilst we 'manage' we can also hurt greatly and the emotional rollercoaster is a difficult one.  Helping others when you could do with your own support brought its own rewards when you were able to open up to your friend too.  Sometimes it is easier just to say it how it is and then the understanding comes along. Easier said than done sometimes especially as we travel an uncertain journey.  I learned a helluva lot about myself during hubby's illness (did not like myself much at times either as felt I should cope better but anger and frustration played its part).  The best advice I was given on the forum was to take things in 'baby steps' and be thankful for each day and I definitely tried!

Hope you have a peaceful weekend.Jules

Jules 

Thanks for you kind words on my reply, I always thought I had the easy part to play in my cancer ... I just had to do it and everyone helped me do it, specially my wife, but I was conscious of the fact that my cancer was about her too, and I did not want her not to be supported through the treatment process.

watching your loved one go through this process, trying to deal with that, feeling useless, because you can’t fix it, but then having to take up both roles in the family, run the whole house and then find some strength to support a loved one .... to then have every external conversation dominated by cancer is exhausting

i had it easy

i take my hat off to both of you

Victoria

friends are a strange breed sometimes 

however as jules says, this is the time to be honest with yourself an those around you. You know you will have very little reserves going through this and trying to deal with your friends is it the bottom of you pile of things to deal with .... if they are good friends, after a while they will get the message and pull their weight....as Jude’s says an honest word in their ear Igor help spark them into action

im sorry to hear about your son, this obviously just adds to you superwoman status, but remember, you are not Wonder Woman, only human like the rest of us, and our bodies have a way of saying “ right thats enough, you are expecting too much of me ... I’m shutting down for a while and will be back soon” ..... so look after yourself a bit and don’t be scared sk for help.

I was fortunate to have some good friends that took me on my daily 1.5 hr round trips, leaving my wife at home for some me time or getting stuff done whilst I was not there takingup her very. Time.

if you have friends like this and who can do this, take up the favour and don’t feel bad for not being at each session.

my thoughts and best wishes go out to you both

keep us informers as to how ou are both getting on

vatch