Hi, I can't cope with the thought of losing my father. He is my world and it feels like i'm suffocating & drowning all at the same time. The pain of knowing that my father is going to die is all consuming. The doctor called last night and took my mother to one side to tell her he is very ill and now in the final phase of stage 4 lung cancer :( I just got off the phone to my father and he spoke about visits from my gran and grandfather his mam and dad. He said they visit every day just stand there looking down at him. He then went on to speak of shadows in the room. I told him that it's good to know that we may not be here in person but we live on in spirit and to take comfort from that it took all my strength not to cry and scream "no you're not taking him, he's not ready, i'm not ready, we're not ready"!! I know he is suffering I don't want him to suffer I want it to end but if it ends for him I want it to end for me. I can't imagine life without my father he has always been my rock, my hero, my best friend. I have no-one to speak to, no true friends. I have a husband who works away a daughter who lives with my mam and dad (she is 22) I don't want them to know how upset I am I need to be strong for my daughter I encourage her to stay at her boyfriends house or mine to shield her from the pain it will destroy her seeing her grandfather die. My daughter has been diagnosed as suffering from anxiety, my parents are unaware of the affect that my fathers diagnosis has had on her. My poor mother is trying to be strong she is trying hard to cope I wish someone would help her take the pressure off not that she is ready to accept help. My mother has spinal stenosis I think that's what it's called and she is in agony caring for my father and refused an operation so she could care for him. My father has refused to go into hospital he wants to be at home and my mother wants him at home. I don't think either of them has thought of the impact afterwards on my mother to deal with the death of her husband at home. They have been partners since the age of 14 and married for 50 years. He just asked me for one thing to go for a meal with his family and to take a look around the shops. I can't take him because I don't drive and neither does my mother. How can I grant the simplest of wishes to a dying man ;( We will get through it as a family no doubt but it's heartbreaking ;(;(