Hello northern232001 :) So glad you posted. Completely understand how you feel. My mum was diagnosed last week and it feels very surreal - everything is so trivial and it’s all I can think about. She hasn’t even had surgery yet but all I can think about is loss and the things we haven’t done together and I have overwhelming feelings of guilt and grief. I’ve had anxiety and depression in the past so I’m really trying to stop myself from slipping back there, especially because I know my mum would blame herself. Obviously everyone is different but I’ve really found that the following things are helping me: - I told my line manager and a couple of other people about the diagnosis confidentially at work. This has made me feel less isolated and trapped so I don’t feel panicky. Nobody talks to me about it but they’ve been supportive and it means that I don’t get loads of questions if I just need to go and get some air/sit on my own for 5 minutes. - I can’t bring myself to talk about it out loud but I wrote down my feelings on a piece of paper and showed it to my housemate and my boyfriend to help them to understand - writing it down also helped me to process it a bit. - I try to keep busy, eat healthily, treat myself, take deep breaths and go for lots of walks in nature - it’s hard but it’s really important to be kind to yourself. It’s completely fine to feel sad and overwhelmed. Don’t feel bad for feeling grief - it’s your body helping you to process things and protect yourself - let yourself feel whatever you need to feel and look after yourself like you would look after a friend going through the same thing. - I’m also trying to help other people. My sister has post-natal depression and usually gets lots of help from my mum, so I’ve been helping her to clean and doing errands for her and stuff. I’ve also been buying little presents for my mum to cheer her up. Focusing on helping others helps me to stop dwelling on the negatives too much - making other people (including my mum) smile makes me feel less gloomy and helpless. Basically just keep busy, keep smiling and look after yourself. Hope that helps a bit :) lots of love and hugs xxx