Stage lV

My brother is very ill, he has a huge sarcoma, we planned a wedding for July to include him, and at the time although knowing he wouldn't improve he was well in March when we decided, but now he is so much worse and the hard decision that we came to, to fix a date for our wedding now seems so silly. The reasons we chose were about including him in a wonderful family memory and now if he may not even be there or well enough to attend it seem all a bit too much for everyone... especially mum n dad. I want to spend time with him and not rush around wedding planning. He has gone from being unsteady to requiring oxygen and having oedema, with weekly blood in a matter of two weeks. My gut is saying we should postpone but part of me feels he may be hurt with me cancelling. 

  • Trasa

    I'm so very sorry to hear of your brothers illness.

    I don't think I could advise you one way or another.  Perhaps, even though your brother will not be able to be at the wedding, he can see you preparing for it and maybe take some pleasure in that.  This is going to be such a sad time and it will be linked forever to a day that is meant to be happy.

    Is your brother aware that he is so ill and unlikely to improve?  Maybe he can guide you as to what he would like?

    My thoughts are with you.

    Kind regards

    David

  • Hi Trasa,

    What a horrid predicament for you all. The only times I've made decisions that I've regretted were when I ignored my gut feelings.

    Talk to your fiancee about how you feel. Then talk to your brother. At the risk of sounding completely insensitive, he probably has more important things on his mind. You planned your wedding date for the best of reasons. It sounds like the situation has changed drastically over the past couple of weeks and it isn't surprisng that you are re-assessing the situation.

    Best wishes

    Dave