Hello,

My brother was well up until two weeks ago too. He was misdiagnosied on 4 occasions by the NHS. Once he went to emergency and was sent home with pain relief without so much as a blood test being done. On Friday, he was finally diagnosed properly. Now the cancer has travelled from the hepatic flexture of his bowel (6cm mass), to his liver (5.3cm) and right lung (12mm). This doesn't seem real, and I feel like I will wake up from a bad dream. All the things I thought that could possibly go wrong, all the things I cared and worried about, do not matter to me now. This came completely from left field. I do not feel like doing anything now, like enjoying anything, if my brother is denied that privilege. I know that I have to make peace with this, but part of me still hopes for a miracle. He is 38 and the eldest of 8 children, he always took a patriarchal role in the family when my parents couldn't be there for us due to illness. I am 30 and 5th in line. I don't know how I will live without my big brother. I love him so much. I am dying inside for him, and if I could take it away from him and put it inside of me, I would. He is so much better than me in every way. To top it all off, his fiancé is recently pregnant and they were supposed to be married this year. It is their first child. He flew home to Australia from London the day after diagnosis, which gives me some solace that at least he is home and soon we will be with him. I also live in London and will quit my job to be home as soon as I can. My heart bleeds for him. It will take some time for me to accept this, but I will remain strong and hopeful in front of him. Thank you for reading, and advice or support you could offer would be greatly appreciated.