Hi everyone

My husband was diagnosed with cancer of the oesphagus last August.  He has been through so much to come out the other side: 9 cycles of chemo, a major operation to remove part of his stomach and oesphagus.  Plus 2 hernia operations, a collapsed lung, leakages from the wound site... you name it!  But we're through and looking forward to the future. Yesterday we went for a post operative appt with the consultant and he gave us the very sobering and grim statistics that there is a 65% chance of a recurrence in the first 18 months and a 20% thereafter.  Worse still, if there is a recurrence, he will be classed as terminal and will have about 12 months because there is nothing more to be done in terms of treatment.  Now we knew about these stats at the get go, but somehow hearing them again when we have come so far has just really put me back in terms of positivity.  Steve is so much more positive than me but I'm struggling.  Its not even the thought of living without him that is hurting, it's the thought of what that lovely man of mine will have to go through if it comes back.

I know I'm overthinking this, and I know I should take my own advice and take one day at a time, but its just so hard to look forward.  I'm frightened!