Hello YellowBroom.  Sorry I cannot help in that I have not had your experience but I thought I would say "hello" rather than leave you without a response especially when you are suffering from depression anyway.  Sometimes we regular posters here see a post and - if we cannot answer the question(s) asked - we leave it for somebody else who can help hopefully.  But if nobody has been able to pick it up - and the others here - just want to let you know you are not being ignored.  Anyway, stop rambling Annie, I am aware from previous posts that a surgical menopause such as you have experienced can hit you hard, both physically and mentally.   When, as well as this, you are worrying about your dad, it is no wonder you feel so depressed. I have taken a look at the "Search Forum" (click on the blue banner above your post) and in the box which opens up typed "surgical menopause" and found that a good few posts have been made about this.  If you do the same you will find some who you may wish to chat with.  They are not in date order but you will see that there are quite a few fairly recent posts.  Have  you spoken with your doctor about your depression; you seem to have a lot on your plate at the moment and need some help.  Please do continue to post here and hopefully you find a kindred spirit with whom to exchange experiences.  Best wishes.  Annie

hi! thanks for replying. i tried taking antidepressants but the side effects were too much to handle. i will possibly give it another go in a few days. i do believe that im like this because a lot of things are going on. i should be positive about my dad's outlook. its not an aggressive cancer, so why am i being like that :( he is very calm, he is not bothered by having cancer. he is in his 70s and the doc said chemo will not be very aggressive, so it should be ok. so instead of spending time with him, im sitting on my bed all day. i feel not only depressed, but guilty for being such a horrible daughter. he is staying indoors now he is starting chemo, to avoid any colds or anything. his sister dislikes me a lot, and she is always blaming me for whatever happens to my family. she feels im hiding money from my parents and i dont want to help my dad. dads ignoring her obviously, but its difficult when outsiders are being so mean during this difficult time

 as you said...a lot on my plate atm :) 

Hi Yellowbroom like you im going through exactly what your going through right now,except it my mom with NSCL,she was diagnose in 2013 and has gone through so many different chemos the last 4+ yyrs,(they couldnt operate as her tumours are like grains of sand dotted all over her lung),Like you dad she was stuck inside alot when on chemo for fear of infection(she developed sepis 2 yrs ago from chemo but pulled through thank God),anyway two weeks ago they told her there is no more treatments they can try,,,she has no secondaries all still contained in the lungs,,,i have come so close to a nervous breakdown many times since she was diagnosed,,like you was on anti depressants and had councelling,,,nothing helped,,,its a rollercoaster that i cant get of,,the worry ,the stress fearing the phone ringing in case it bad news is how i live my days now,so darling i know exactly hwht your going through,,will keep you and your dear dad in my prayers,,btw my mam is 71,,,take care and God bless xx

Hello again YellowBroom.  How much do you have to see your dad's sister - I would just refuse to engage with anyone who was causing such problems at a time like this (or at any time really!)  Don't waste the time and energy.  If you don't want to take anti-depressants then keep in touch with forums such as this one and MacMillan also have a very good website where all and sundry is discussed. But don't underestimate what effect your enforced menopause will be having on you - your doctor may be able to help with that without anti-depressants. 

Don't just sit and worry on your own; things always seem so much worse that way; go for a walk  in your local park for instance (as a dog owner I am always chatting to anyone who is wandering around the park and others seem to do the same).  It takes a bit of effort at first to get out and about but now the weather seems to be improving it is a good time to do this.  Look after yourself and your dad.   Annie