My dad has been diagnosed with stomach cancer (Stage IV). It has rapidly grown in size throughout chemotherapy and he isn't expected to have more than 6 months, though it may be only 1 month.
He thinks he can get a miracle cure in his homeland and is flying out in the next couple of days, and he doesn't want me to go with him because he says he is coming back. I'm scared that he won't. All his family and friends are selling him dreams, consisting of old wives tales (e.g. drinking boiled nettles can cure even the most advanced cancer) and false hope. I am quite scientifically/logically minded, but can't bare to tell him there is no hope. We've had the best doctors and have been told it's inoperable and incurable.
I'm a bit stuck on what to do, because perhaps this 'search for a cure' is motivating him to wake up in the morning with the hope of getting better. But, I'm also scared that his time is being consumed by searching for a miracle cure and I'm losing my time with him. I've tried telling him that I can fly out in a week or two to meet him and he keeps saying "No, let me get better and I am coming back anyway because I need to sort things out here."
Right now, he is laughing and joking away with his friends, everyone is calling him and visiting him. But, I'm losing time with him and he can barely look me in the eye. When he sees me he has a sadness and I feel like I've lost him already. It's like everyone else wants time with him, and I'm being left with none. I wanted to spend time with him before he flew out because I know it could be the last time I see him, but everyone is coming to visit him (which I can't deny). I just wanted to do something silly, like watch a movie with him, or get him to teach me some card games, but there is literally no time. Plus, when we do have 10 minutes on our own, he can't even look at me. I know it's hard because he doesn't want to say goodbye, but I feel like our last moments are just filled with sadness.
He wasn't there during my childhood because my parents divorced, and I resented him for many years. He missed out on so many of my milestones, and I was praying that in the future he would see me get married and have children. I knew he would have been an amazing grandad and the thought of him not being there is hard to cope. I'm 24 and was due to graduate from my masters this year, begin a PhD and begin planning for my wedding. I lost my dad during my childhood, and I just wanted him in my future, despite everything which happened in the past.
Any advice is greatly appreciated, I just don't know what to do or say to make him feel better, or to tell him we don't have much time and to make the most of what we do have. I'm struggling to cope and I don't know how to reassure him or myself.
