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my mum has cancer

Lia123
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Hi, yesterday after months and months of my mum being severally ill and recently having to be hospitalised we have had the news that it is cancer, we dont know the grade or how much has spread but it is bad. I don’t know what i feel at the moment if im honest i feel numb. she had to tell me that its highly likely she wont be able to get any better, i’m 17 and lost my dad in 2013. my mum is and always will be my best friend and the only one person i feel like i can trust. i’m really scared, i feel like i dont have lots of friends at the moment either and i feel like no one understands :(

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    Hi there, I'm so sorry for your recent news. Even though a cancer diagnosis is the thing we all fear, it still comes as a shock when it is confirmed. Feeling numb, angry, upset, fear etc are all common and totally normal emotions. When my husband was diagnosed I barely spoke for 3 days, the shock was immense. My doctor told me it's like a grieving process, you grieve for the life you had before all this came along. It's true. 

    May i ask why does your mum feel she may not get better? Has she had a PET scan yet? There is so much that the doctors can do, try your best to wait until they have said the stage, grade etc before presuming your mum won't beat this. I know it's easier said than done.

    Much love to you & your mum for the journey ahead. And remember there us so much help & support out there for you both...please use it xx 

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    Hello  lia ... welcome here, and your definatly not alone ... over the months i have been on here, there have been so many heartfelt threads on here , but the ones that stay in my heart is you young uns ... facing things no young person should have to do, when life should be full of fun, boyfriends, and music etc ... this is when I wish I had a magic wand ... but I'm sending caring thoughts to you and your mum ...

    My wonderfull nieces lost their dad /step dad when they were young ... he went suddenly with no warning and his baby daughter was just 1 ... his son 3 and his step kids from 11 to 8 ... I talked to the older ones over the first raw months and we still talk about him now 17 years later, and tell his baby who is now grown and in uni all those funny memories I have of him ... but in seeing them through so many emotions got to understand how different young ones grieve... 

    Adults hold it 24 / 7 and they get no brake from hurting ... the young ones (including my own son's when we lost my mum, their nan) they have the ability to cry their hearts out and half hour later do something completely different ... this is just my experience .... you my hunny are slap bang in the middle ... old enough to understand but young enough to still feel those feelings ... life must feel so crule right now ...

    Your mum is still here today ... try my hunny to bring the child out in you, and live in the day ... try to hold mum's hand and tell her everything in your heart... share tears, hugs, and if you do, you maybe able to put a few smiles in there to hold on too ... this is gonna be so hard, and I just hope you have sibling or auntie or anyone you can trust to help you through ... 

    I'm here most days ... you can put all those feelings down here and someone will know just how your feeling coz someone will have been there ... I know there's a teenage chat page, long time since I recalled it ... but think it's 'rip-rap'   hopefully " @ ask the nurses"  will come along to give the info soon ..

    So hold on there ... here for as long as you need it ... and remember there's no right or wrong way to feel .. go with how you feel at that moment, get it out, but get the balance right ... and it will help you through ... sending you a big big hug ... Chrissie

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