Hi ya Carol ... I've been on both sides of cancer, and I think it's far harder watching someone you love go through it ... all I can say, is your not alone, there's so many here who have been where you are now .. if only we had a magic wand ... I'm watching my sister going every day with vascular dementia,  and it breaks our hearts every day ...

But we have to walk this last journey with them, holding their hand tightly ... and remember they are still there, just your husbands body and my sister's brain are changing how they come across ... but they are still there ... all we can do is be there ... make the most of every day ... even though it's scary ... and it's not fare ... but we can still give them a hug and tell them just how much they are loved ...

So hold on in there .. this is a wonderfull place, where you can put down just how you feel, and people will know those feelings ... weather it's having a rant or something that made you smile ... anything is o.k we don't know just how brave we can be, till our backs against the wall ... so sending you a big hug ... Chrissie xx

Thanks, sometimes I want to scream and rant but have been my usual calm self to him and our teenage daughter but I feel so angry most of the time but plaster a smile and go on with my day x

Hay carol,  you know sometimes it's about sharing those feelings together ... admitting you both feel scared ... and sharing a few tears can be good for you both ... even your daughter may need to see emotion ... when everyone trys to be strong, you all walk different paths ... 

If you can listen to each other ... you'll all walk that path holding each others hand ... x

Carol. 

Welcom to the forum and sorry to hear about your loved one

if they are having radiation and chemo .... this treatment is no walk in the park ... I know I’ve been there and am now 3.5 years post treatment

the treatment will take you down, but we get there, we get through, we manage .... but it ain’t easy

we do it with a lot of help from loved ones and even with all this help, sometimes we crack

just be there, hang in there, it does get better but you won’t see this for a while

so why don’t you tell us all about your situation and let’s see if we can help

vatch

Hi Vatch

Thanks, we are waiting to see the oncologist, from the appointment with the doctor when we got the news all I got from that was, cant operate, 2 tumours, get stronger for chemo so now hes being tube fed which to him is worse than the cancer he is starving all the time and losing weight by the day. Hoping they can fit a stent so he can get food down then we can face and fight with chemo

Carol

Carol

the mental side of this type of treatment can be just as hard as the physical and the things we can no longer normally do, get replaced by things that we have to do, sometimes with resentment

i had a peg fitted the day before my treatment on the 8th july and I did not get rid of it until 15th Dec .... I hated the thing towards the end....but those forcips drinks and the peg kept me alive, it did not stop me losing weight though, but it just kept my weight manageable.

i guess he has a nasal feeding tube fitted as opposed to a peg, the physical appearance of this can also be of great mental impact.

Soups are obviously the order of the day, although this does get boring after a while

Keep speaking to your medical team and let us know how you get on

vatch