Hi there.  You could perhaps ask the nurses here to answer that one but I suspect that nobody really knows accurately.   All estimates of life expectancy are a bit of a guessing game as what applies to nine out of ten people does not necessarily apply to the tenth person.  I have lost a few friends and family to cancer and none of the estimates were particularly accurate.  Not that I am complaining about that; we are people not machines and have all kinds of individual factors.  Does your father see a doctor at all or has he just given up on them?   How does he seem to you at the moment?   Sorry, I know I am not being at all helpful.  You can ring the nurses here on 0808 800 4040.  I am sorry - you must be very worried.  Annie

Annieliz, I appreciate your comment, I’m sure that its helpful at the moment, I’m sure that the time accuracy is not really understandable, he went to a few doctors till he went in for a 6 hour surgery for autopsy for a sample to be tested and thats when he decided that he will not ever go through surgeries nor doctor visits, and physical wise he had lost about 20 lb in the past year, he is 65 now yet a year ago he looked younger then his age, a year later he looks like hes in his 80s, aside that he has the aorta inflated from 2cm to 6.5cm which is something else that he is ignoring, sorry if i wrote alot

Hi again; I hate it when it does not seem possible to give a clear answer to a question especially when you must be so stressed about your father.  If he is of sound mind, which it seems he is, then there is not a lot you can do.  Have you no other close family, not to gang up on your father but to share the stresses of the situation.  I am presuming that the matter is not up for discussion but - apart from this - hope that the relationship is good otherwise.  You may still find it useful to give the nurses a ring w- they can give a more professional viewpoint that myself.  Best wishes.  Annie  (By the way you have written with clarity and brevity so don't apologise).

Hey, yea i already emailed the nurses, I really appreciate your advices Thank you anaieliz

Jolamine, I’m so sorry for your loss, i can feel a special kind of relation and the feeling others feel when they go through all of this, and also thank you so much for your calming words,

and I’ve recently started begging againg for a doctor’s Visit and all, and this is when he replied with the same daily words “i feel great” and thats when those words break my heart knowing that he is not feeling great as he says, I’m not sure if he is going through a denial stage on purpose or he does really feel emotionally numb over the whole issue,

One thing I don’t regret, i left my job about 10 month ago just so we can travil and have the best time we can ever have, gave up my entire life, friends and job for those great days, days that i will eventually miss oneday.

i now appreciate life more then i have ever did before.

Thank you jolamine and anaieliz for your wonderful support

Hi Ambitioussoul,

 Sorry about this unearthly hour, but I am just back from leaving my husband in hospital with chronic heart failure for the second time in 2 weeks. The ambulance took us to the hospital at 8.15pm and I have only just arrived home after he was admitted. Fortunately, he was much better by the time I left, but I am too high to go to bed for a while yet, so thought that I would catch up on some posts.

It does sound as if there might be some denial there, but this is not unusual. This seems to be a coping method for many. I suspect that if your father was in actual pain you would see it in his face and, if it becomes too severe, you will see it in his body language.

If this is how he wants to deal with things so be it, but do watch out for any discomfort, as he may need some stronger medication if pain becomes an issue as it often can do towards the end. .

A cancer diagnosis like this certainly puts things into perspective and make us appreciate life so much more. You have done him proud in being there for him so much, now that you are no longer working. I am glad to read that you are trying your best to build memories while your father is still fit enough to travel.

I see that you have not only given up your job, but dropped your friends. Are these friendships that you might be able to pick up again after the worst has happened?  This is a time when you really do need a few people who you can talk to, as you cannot bottle up all this worry, without having someone to lean on for support yourself.

Thinking of you and wishing you the strength to get through this.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Jolamine, I’m sorry to hear about your husband’s visit to the hospital, hope he gets well soon, please feel free to update me with his condition, I’m sure you’re going through much with his random heart attack, stay strong, once hes back home, make sure to take his mind off of it, best wishs, God bless you both 

Hello again.  Just wondered how things were going.  I have been away, a weeks planned holiday elongated by a back injury but am fine now and pleased to be back at my pc.  Any changes in your father's views?  You don't have to keep us informed of course but I can understand your concerns to some extent - I say "to some extent" because of course I am not in your position.  Annie

Hi Annie,

Welcome back. It is so good to have you back on the forum. I hope that you had an enjoyable holiday. I'm sorry to hear about your back injury and hope that it is showing signs of improvement.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx