Hello Rocky5; so pleased you have come to this forum.  But sorry about your mum.  There is no written script to follow in these circumstances; it is a mixture of following your mum's lead on how she is coping and at the same time giving yourself the time to be upset with what is happening.  It is not a situation that you can accept quickly; your mum has loved you from the moment you were conceived and you in return have loved her back; a mum is irreplaceable so it is of course going to be a hard time.  I am so pleased that you are getting the help you need; chat to the MacMillan nurses; they are a wonderful resource to help you.  If you are not sure about anything they will try to help and you can always ring MacMillan in an urgent situation.  Accept any help that is available; if friends and family ask "What can I do to help" then give them tasks that would make life a bit easier for your mum and yourself; cooking meals, doing shopping; picking up prescriptions, whatever.  People want to be helpful but don't always know how.  And please do keep coming back here to tell us how things are going.  Best wishes.  Annie

Thank you Annie, It's been a  bit of a world wind few weeks test's results etc mums not great and we have been told that the district nurse will be out , which she did but came without letting one of us know ie my sisters ... Mum also has Alzheimer's which means she forgets most things if anyone has been in or not and also she tells them all shes fine as she does not like to ask for help... this was pointless visit as they were to access her and they cannot do anything and .. we have been told there is only one Macmillan nurse in the area and she wont be coming until mums really ill... we just need to know what is what noone has told us what to expect and how to do with anything..  now feeling angry 

Hello Rocky; it is all wrong that there should  be so many difficulties.  Everywhere we look to find help for people in your position seems to be going the same way.  Charities are struggling to keep providing the service.  I won't get involved in a political discussion but it is so unfair that so many people cannot get the help they desperately need. For heavens sake, how ill is "really ill"? I think in your situation I would contact the consultant treating your mum, explain what is happening and ask for some clear information.  There are also other charities - Marie Curie are one - but I don't know how they are faring either.  I am sure it must be very worrying for you to have to just take things as they come - please continue to come here to talk about your worries.  Annie

Thank you so much .. just knowing I can talk to someone is great x

Hello again. I am just wondering how you and your mum are doing?  Have you got any help from MacMillan yet and answers to any of your questions?  It occurs to me that you could ring the nurses here (0808 800 4040 9am-5pm Mon-Fri) and ask them about anything that is bothering you.  You don't have to reply to this unless you want to - I am not hassling you!  Annie