Hello. I think I have been in denial about my mum's illness for quite some time. I don't really know how to talk about it or how I feel all I know is seeing her go through this is pain I never even imagined I could feel. Being a new mum to my beautiful son is about the only thing that is giving me strength right now. My mum is the kindest, warmest most beautiful caring person I have known. She is the light of my life. Since the day she told me I don't think I've accepted it really. I know it's real I sat with her every time she underwent treatment, I've been to all the meetings with her consultant and I've seen myself the awfulness she has suffered at the hands of this awful awful disease but I keep thinking this must not be real...this isn't happening?? She was given two to three years almost 2 years ago but I still don't understand how anyone can put an estimated time on anyone's lifeline. I've always been a very optimistic happy person but how can I be when my beautiful mum is feeling so ill. I can't seem to keep it together. My relationship with my son's father has fallen apart, I feel very anxious and isolated but I'm mum and mum has to be ok. It just feels like everything is slipping away from me and I can't control it.
