Awwww bless him!

seen you commented on my post so I thought I’d read yours ️ ️ ️

It must be so hard for him so he’s turning to drink to help him forget.

ive been there, after my dad died I started drinking heavy so I understand his motives. Like you said our situations are very similar.

im glad you are there for him in trying to help and it sounds like you are doing your very best. Have you been in touch with your local Macmillan nurses as they are great in helping.

Your dad will know it’s doing him no good and it won’t, it will make him feel like crap!! It’s funny isn’t it though, he must think what’s the point? I don’t have long anyway so what’s the hell. But do remind him it will make him even more ill and he will feel more crap.

Try and lift his spirits and maybe go somewhere nice together and spend time having fun and laugh together. 

I wish you luck hunni and if you ever need to talk just message me xxxx

Thank you for replying

ive not been in touch with Macmillan at all but I’m going to, the support from medical professionals up to now regarding his mental state & drinking has been nonexistent. I’ve booked a little 3 night trip to the seaside good Friday- Monday so fingers crossed the sea air will do him some good? It’s such a shame, he was sailing through chemo, his worries just got on top of him & im scared this is possibly the start of the end? I hope your mum is able to let out her fears & hopes to you? I think that’s a good part of the fight ahead..... to be open & honest x

thanks

Hi Kayleigh,

So sorry to read about your Dad’s predicament. I don’t know what type of chemo he is on but I was on EOX and hadn’t had any major side effects until about the 4th cycle. I’m amazed he was able to drink enough to get drunk, by that stage even the smell of booze made me want to throw up! It is a pretty scary treatment and I can understand him self-medicating with alcohol if it was making him down. It is a vicious cycle though, after a couple of drinks alcohol is a depressant, so you have another drink to feel better.

Mental Health services are at crisis point at the moment. In my area, even if he was referred as an urgent case it would be months before he’d be seen by anyone. Acute physical services are in a similar situation with massive pressures to keep people out of hospital if at all possible.

It sounds like his GP is doing all the right things, you are too. The booze won’t have helped, but many of us feel really lousy when on chemo. I literally slept for days just getting out of bed to use the toilet and force some food down before crashing again. 

Once the chemo is out of his system, which could take several days, he should start feeling better again. If he doesn’t, get the GP back in.

Good luck

Dave

Our messages crossed.

Are you sure he was sailing through chemo? We all minimise what we say to our families to stop them worrying ... “I’m fine” can cover up so much and the pressure to “be positive” is never-ending! The side effects often build up over time then hit you with a bang! 

The trip away may be just what he needs :-)