Hello scooby .  I am pleased you have come to this forum but not pleased about the reason for it.  How awful that the cancer has returned so soon.  How well did you get on with her family before her diagnosis?  I am sorry to ask personal questions but that is really what your post is about so forgive me.    Are you trying to be considerate to her family who have loved her all her life or is there a kind of stand-off now.  The trouble is that your girlfriend will pick up on these difficulties unless everyone makes a bit of effort to stand together for your her sake.  And I am afraid it is really about your girlfriend at this moment so please try to pull together with them at this horrible time for her sake.  I know it is all horribly unfair but this is really the only way to go.   Pleae forgive me for being so frank in my reply but time is of the essence.   Do let us know how things go.  Best wishes.  Annie