Oh my goodness, Kerra, I had to re-read your first paragraph - what a terrible few days this must have been.  I have not heard anything like it.  And now you are having to cope with everything while grieving for your grandfather.

There are lovely ladies on this forum who have experienced breast cancer and are still going strong - I will leave it to one of them to give you all the good stats and how they have come through it.

I can imagine that, after what you have been going through, you fear the worst for your father but try not to panic.   Perhaps - if you wish - you would let us know how today's meeting goes. Very much hoping the news is good.  We will be here for you whatever the outcome - you have to support your mum.  Annie

Thanks Annieliz,

Still nothing definitive for Dad yet - the doctors say Friday at the earliest and that it "could" be something sinister, but they can't be sure. 

I am just so scared as I know how serious pancreatic cancer is. I do not know how I will cope.... I have so much support around me so I am very lucky.

I will update when we know anything for sure...... xx

Thank you.

Sat here crying as I write - the docs have said that is is very likely to be malignant on my dad's pancreas. I just pray that they have got it early enough to do something

Sorry to hear that - I hope it can be treated.  I don't personally believe in someone guiding what is happening down here on earth (no offence intended to anyone else who does have beliefs!).    There so often just seems to be random awfulness of a kind that you would never place a bet on happening (does that make sense!).   When you get some more information please let us know but I hope you will  keep posting here to let us know how you yourself are coping.  Annie

My darling dad has been told it is cancer of the pancreas and that they can only offer him palliative care.

No idea how long we have left with him, but trying to make sure what we do have counts.

They are offering to try chemo to prolong his life, but not sure if he can handle it due to how weak he has become.

I cannot bear the thought of losing him, but have to be strong to help mum carry on with her fight and make life easier for the pair of them.

I ******* hate cancer!!!! 

Oh my dear Kerra; sometimes I wonder what has gone astray with life on earth that such a string of awful things can happen like this.  The trouble (well, one of the many) is that while your loved one is still living you cannot comprehend what it will be like when they are no longer here so it hits you like a ton of bricks when it happens.  Thank you so much for taking the time, in the middle of all your troubles, to come back and tell us what has been happening.

I hope your mum is continuing to do well.  Do you have any brothers or sisters - it seems just too much that all this worrying and caring is coming down on your shoulders.  Do  whatever you can to care for yourself as well as your mum and dad.   I don't know if you have looked at the MacMillan Cancer Support website.  As well as you being able to ring them just to talk about what you are going through (Freefone 0808 808 0000) there is a section headed In Your Area where you can check if there are any support groups where you live.    If friends or neighbours offer to help then give them things to do that will ease your burden, be it weeding the garden - if you have one - spring is belatedly arriving; cooking or anything that takes time and effort.  People like to be helpful but it helps to give some direction to their goodwill.  Even little things like picking up a daily paper and putting it through your door; it all helps.  Try not to run yourself ragged.

I hope the palliative care goes well and that your dad is not suffering pain.  When I think of what you and your mum are going through well I just don't know; it seems so awful.  Keep in touch if you have the time.  Annie

Thank you so much for your kind words Annie.

I do have a brother and a wonderful husband and sister in law. We have 3 children between us too - 12, 13 and 14. It's a tough time for all of us, but we are close, so I am lucky in that respect.

We have some great friends and neighbours who are already offering their help which has been wonderful. I feel so emotional when I think about the kindness people show at a time like this. 

Thanks for the MacMillan details. I will take a look. I could even discuss with mum as I think she needs extra support bless her.

Thanks again, Kerry x