Hi, my Dad was diagnosed with bladder cancer at the end of last year. He had a cystoscopy to remove and it was sent of for a biopsy. He had complications after over the next 3 weeks, he had to have a kidney bag, they found he had AF During that and also multiple blot clots. He stayed in for 3 weeks over Xmas and New Year until the got his levels right and was put on anticoagulants. He had 3 weeks at home and had a stroke last Sunday. We are devasted. He is very very frail and over the last few months has lost so much weight. On Tuesday, we had the news we'd been dreading, it is tomdavnced to treat, especially in his current condition. The consultant wanted to tell Dad then and there but we begged him not to until he is feeling stronger, itvwoild be too much for him to stand at the moment. They've told us the main focus is getting him recovered as much as we can from the stroke to get him home and have quality time with his family. The consultant is insisting that he has to tell him. I know they have a duty of  care but surely with his weakened and fragile state, telling him will only cause damage at this stage. They've said they won't do anymore scans to see if it's spread either. What I don't understand is why they think it's ok to try and get Dad bettervonly to tell him he's dying. The consultant was vague with life expectancy of cancer as said he was much weaker but a stronger person would have 6-12 months. communication is poor and feel totally unsupported too. We've had one urologist specialist nurse ask if we're ok and tell us that the consultant will speak to my Dad on Tuesday but can't give times. We've all had the last week off so have to go back to work and he doesn't seem to be very compassionate, it feels like they're giving up,on my Dad. Has anyone had any similar experiences, not sure what do to.