Hi debee  ... bless ya heart ... l wish there was something l could say to ease the pain, but as I've been where you are now, when l lost my mum and dad, l know it's a journey we take, and it's the price we pay, for being blessed with wonderfull parents ... 

My thoughts are with you as you walk on your dad's journey with him ... there's so many go through this alone ... so your giving him more then you'll ever know ... so when you feel alone and lost, read some of the posts on here and you'll realise, wer all on our cancer journey too , right beside you ... 

There's always someone here, when you need a shoulder to lean on ... sending you a big hug ... Chrissie

Thank you for your kind reply, my brother and I will hear tomorrow what damage was done to him  when the catheter was inserted incorrectly, they did say the urine from his bladder due to the hole and other perforations could have caused the C to spread rapidly,  they have said my Father needs to be there as well if he can we have arranged transport which will carry a wheelchair.

Looking at him today I doubt he'll be able to make it, hes just so worn out and tired, any type of movement tires him, hes so frail .

Trying to get him to eat or drink is an  impossibility, 

My emotions are all over the place and I feel I'm in a surreal situation its 1st thing in the morning the tears just flow, its not crying as such and something Ive never experienced before, even the tears are becoming less frequent now maybe Ive accepted the situation now, who knows? just writing it down helps, and knowing im not alone, Thank you 

x

Hi there .. can't believe they want your dad there, do they realise just how weak he is ... oh for the old days, when Drs came to the house, when someone was so ill ... keep writing things down ... even if it's just a letter to someone , your dad, a Dr, anyone as long as you get everything off your chest ... it is like a therapy... and on here too ... someone's always here to listen ... 

Hope they have some answers about the catheter... keep going till you get them, ... Will be thinking of you and dad .... Chrissie xx 

I cant believe it either they admitted they made very big mistakes I dont know him now,  last night my son called from the USA they have a very very close relationship so much so my son changed his name to my Fathers...my son spoke for 1 minute to him and my Father was so angry at him and I had to take the phone away...I have no idea what they did to my Dad this is out of context for him...I hurt so much for my Father for what has happened the tears are not  for me but him....

I feel physically sick at the thought of going with him and my brother to the consultants this pm for the prognosis ...he has lost so much weight he is so fragile...Im sorry for going on but Im just confused this should have been a catheter fitting they said hed be fine....how did they make so many mistakes?..

Thank you for just being here

Once again Im sorry if Im sounding ungrateful 

x

Dbee, there's no way you sound ungrateful ... your going through so very much, think I'd have screamed by now with frustration if I'd been you ... I hope you got all info you need today ... was thinking of you ..

Your poor son, being so far away, and getting shouted at ... it's probably not your dad speaking , it's the cancer,  and frustration, and all the other feelings he has gone through .. but maybe it might be an idea to talk to your dad, and say you know he's really worried and scared at mo , but not to take it out on your son, as he loves  very much "   

Let me know how you go ... my thoughts are with you .. be kind to your self, and know your braver then you think ... Chrissie

We went yesterday they had no idea why he was there it took it out of him...in the cancer unit they saw him and 2 nurse's took him and put him on a bed.

The consultant came over and she was lovely she said we had all been treated appalling and didn't say but advised us to make a complaint with laps? Anyway she called an urgent meeting with the other consultants as she said she needed updates as to why no after care had been given to my Father or us or given any prognosis on his discharge the 2nd Jan. 

After an hour she came back and said he needed to be admitted straight away .. she saw the bloid clots snd asked if wed told anyine we said yes his GP Nurses etc...she said he may need a bloid transfusion and said if possible it may be given but he is s o weak..at 1.30 pm his appointment time finally he was admitted in at 8.30pm we have a 2 hour  meeting on wednesday with the McMillan nurses and consulrants they have already mentioned a hospice as she said he should have been receiving 24 hour care with a saline drip.....not at home without any after care.

This am I woke up crying and will go to my Mums Im in a fog and thank you for your kind words and contrary to what the politicians say those nurses without pay waited with us in the cancer unit for an extra 3 hours with us,  the NHS are stretched to the limit and each and every medical person deserves all the money they get paid..the other consultant told us he lives 25 miles away he gets in at 7 am and wont get home until 11.00 pm and so his week goes on..but said he loves his job  one if the nurses gave him a sandwich as hed not had time to eat his bleeper was going off all the time...

On that note thank you today I need some time with my Mum to process my thoughts..I need to be away from my Dads house just fir today. 

x

So so glad, he's getting the help, at last ... l have nothing but praise for all my oncology team ... and nursing staff ... I've had cancer nursing team stay behind too ... but l just hope lessons get learned from this ... someone not so dedicated was just passing over your dad .. and I'd hate to see someone else go through what your family have ...

Glad your having a break away with your mum ... here if and when you need a chat ... my thoughts are with you all ... sending you all a big hug ... Chrissie