Hi Anne ... well hunny, im not having treatment too ... my bones have been fragile for years so cant go through as it weakens bones more ... so had total mastectomy 6 months ago, and still going strong ...

So like your husband, I'm walking into the unknown ... but I've decided to live in the day... make as many memories with loved ones as l can ... I don't want to know "how long" just think I'm here today woo hoo ..l look at every day as a bonus .. and I had grade 3 her 2 ... and when my mum had a heart attack.. I'd chatted on the phone that morning at 5.20 that afternoon she had gone ... 

That's why I look at it this way ... if you just look to far in the future it'll feel so scary, we would loose today ... that's just how l look at life ... every ones journey is different .. no one knows what tomorrow will bring ... so look after your heart and hope you find a way forward for you both ... Chrissie xx 

Hello, 

I had to comment as I have had some experience with bowel cancer. So not sure if I will be of any help or not to you but couldn't ignore your message. 

My Dad was diagnosed with stage 4 incurable bowel cancer back in April 2015. When he was diagnosed it had already spread to his lungs and liver. He was given 2 years to live by the doctor. Nobody knew this time frame apart from my mum. Palliative chemotherapy was the treatment he was given but this was only to help prolong his life and to hopefully stabilise the cancer. April last year we found out it had spread to his brain and he sadly passed away on the 23rd August. Two years and 4 months after diagnosis. 

I think it is terrible that your husband has been pushed to the side and made to get on with it. It shouldn't matter if he is terminal or not he is still a human being who should be allowed to know what is going on regarding his cancer. I don't understand how anyone can just be left in the unknown. I would seriously complain about this and demand that he should be allowed CT scans just so he knows what is going on in his body. What happens if he is suffering from any pain? What will they do then? Of course without treatment the cancer will grow and metasise to other locations but he should at least be aware of when this happens and not be sitting wondering if things have gotten worse or not. I'm deeply shocked that this has happened and I think it is truly disgusting. He has every right to be given help and support from a doctor and to be kept informed of any changes going on with the cancer. 

thanks for your replay all he has is a palliative care nurse that calles about once every 6 weeks just to ask how he is doing he has started to have pain in his back a lot but they say thats just wear and tear but hard to know and he is started to walk very slow too and he gets so tired all they time i think he has just given up  as he says there nothing they can do so why run to a GP  there have ones to see they can help 

Hi Ann... please give McMillan a ring .. they came twice a day when my brother in law was like your husband ... and they supported my sister when she needed advice ... l used to volunteer for them a couple of years ago ... and just visit and listen to families that needed to let emotions out .. and get a few problems sorted for them along the way ... please reach out , someone will listen .. can't believe how they could just leave you at the time you need it most ... 

Although I can't do treatment, my Drs and oncologist have said they will be there whenever I need them .. I wish you could share my team ... but brave lady (yes you are) don't take being fobbed off .. we don't realise how strong we are till our backs against the wall .. wer all here in your corner ..Chrissie xx