Hi samsunguk, 

I'm sorry to read about the impact your dad's cancer and the chemo is having on him at the moment.

I know you're looking for advice on how you can help him at this time so I just wanted to put you back in touch with [@jules54]‍ as I think she may be able to help you at this time.

I wanted to give you our cancer nurses telephone number in case you wanted to chat to them about this as well. Their freephone number is 0808 800 4040 and are available Monday - Friday (except bank holidays) between 9a.m - 5p.m.

Kind regards, 

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hi samsunguk

This is such a difficult journey for you and your Dad plus extended family.  The affects of the chemo can be extremely harsh on the body and my hubby was at his lowest ebb during this treatment too.  Ways to help are sadly somewhat limited and I found it frightening and frustrating that I was somewhat sidelined.  My hubby did not want company, sympathy but merely peace and quiet to let him deal with it as best he could. Inevitably he was restricted to be indoors during the worst of the sickness and like your Dad had tried endless different anti sickness treatments all to no avail.  His body just rebelled against the chemo and half way through his planned course the decision had to be taken to end palliative chemo as it was taking away his quality of life.  We were extremely lucky that his consultant explained everything from the start of his diagnosis and we welcomed the frankness though it is not the news you wish to face.

Once my hubby was off chemo the sickness abated and though he never regained the weight lost he was able to cope for the remainder of his journey with mesothelioma.  As to the eating and drinking the chemo affected his taste buds and he just did not enjoy all his old favourite foods so we found, by process of elimination, those he could enjoy and stuck to those plus prescription milkshake supplements.  We had a his and hers fridge and he was never without a bowl of chocolates/sweets by his side as  this was his 'heaven' and one he took advantage of. To the  grandchildren (then just 5 and 1) he became the grandad with treats (he had a large wicker tea cup which was filled regularly with fujn size bars and healthy bites).  Looking back I can now be grateful that he was given some extra time with us because of the chemo treatment but watching those down days was heartbreaking and the journey with him declining day by day so sad. 

I do not know why your Dad was declined for the trial other than perhaps his body could not meet the required criteria but perhaps he could ask at his next consultation.  My hubby never had the offer of other options.

This forum is a great source of support even if you just want to write your own frustrations down, all of which are perfectly natural.  So many emotions attached to a cancer diagnosis/journey and it affects all the family.  Happy to chat if you wish to post again.  Jules54

Hi

Just returned from a few days away and would like to extend my condolences after reading your latest post about the recent death of your Dad.  I am sure it is all feeling very raw right now and hope you have support close to hand during the comings weeks/months.  Of course you are correct when  you say nothing can now change the outcome but that does  not stop the hurt and anger bubbling up inside and I am sure many of us would have preferred the hindsight of knowledge during our loved one's illness. My hubby preferred to 'protect us' from everything he found out and it was only my 'badgering him' that  led to my fully understanding and thus accepting his point of view. I was very fortunate that his doctor agreed to talk with my afterwards and help me through my grieving process. 

Take care of yourself.  Jules