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Mum has cancer and is an alcoholic

Katielou
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Hi there. This is my first time posting on a forum of any sorts but I really do not know what to do. I'm scared and frightened my mum will be taken much sooner because of her lifestyle habits.

She was diagnosed 5 years ago with breast cancer that spread to her bones because she didn't get the lump she found 6 months earlier checked out. She didn't even go to the 50yo mammogram the NHS offer. She has been alcohol dependant for quite sometime. Possibly 10 years or more. She obviously went to see the doctor and was on hormone receptive tablets for 3 years then the treatment changed and changed again and now is on chemo tablets. I have no idea what any of these are called because she is very secretive. So secretive to the point we are not allowed in clinic with her to see what they say and whenever she comes out its I'm fine got to carry on with meds. 

Anyway over the last year or so her drinking has got really bad. A bottle of rum or more a day is her intake she eats very little and drinks a glass of milk occasionally. She is very dependant. So much so when she got an infection or something on her face she didn't go to docs/hospital for 6 months. The cancer hospital didn't notice or do anything for it when she went there. It took all my will to take her to a and e as I was afraid it was a bone infection. Apparently it wasn't and the cancer has spread to her jaw? But again she wouldn't let us in whilst she seeked treatment. And nothing was mentioned about jaw when she went to cancer hospital today. 

The main reason I'm telling you all this is. Does anyone know if chemo tablets are all the same and if so can the be effected if you drink alcohol? 

Has anyone any experience with this as I don't know how to help her. She is depressed and keeps everything to herself and I feel terrible for her that things have ended up this way. If we try to help her we are interfering. If we let her be it gets worse. She says she wants to do things her way. Why she not allowed a mind of her own etc. It's truly heartbreaking. 

Thank you for reading and take care 

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    Hi Katielou, welcome to the forum. I'm sorry no one's replied to your post yet, I think it might've been missed so I'm replying to give it a bit of a 'bump' so that people will see it. 

    It sounds like such a difficult situation for you and your mum. I'm glad to hear she's getting treatment finally, but your frustration about the delay in her getting a diagnosis is completely understandable.

    In answer to your question about chemo and alcohol, I've had a look on our website for more information. I found this: 

    It is generally fine to drink small amounts of alcohol during treatment, but alcohol can interfere with the way some chemotherapy drugs work. Your doctors and nurses giving the treatment will be able to give you specific advice about whether drinking alcohol is safe with your chemotherapy drugs.

    You can read more on the Alcohol and chemotherapy page. There's also a guide on how to cut down on alcohol, but your mum may well need support to do this from what you've said.

    The NHS Alcohol Support pages have lots of information about the kind of help that's available, and you can search by postcode for local support.

    I hope those are helpful as a starting point and that somebody who has similar experience will be along soon to chat. 

    Wishing you all the very best,

    Helen
    Cancer Chat moderator

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    Katielou, 

    I am sorry to hear about your mother. I can tell you from experience (my dad was an alcoholic) that you can't help someone with an addiction until they are ready to accept that help. It doesn't sound like your mom is ready so it is out of your hands. All you can do is be there for her as much as you can, love her and comfort her as best you can. Whatever happens with her, it's not your fault, you can't "fix" the situation. I'll be praying for your mom and for your family.

    Laura xx

     

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    Hi Karielou,

     I am going through the same thing with a family member ,who won’t stop drinking and is supposed to start the chemo tablets . He can’t start until his blood count comes down and it won’t if he doesn’t stop drinking . The consultant told him if he drinks while in the tablets it will make the cancer worse . I t is so difficult to sit back and watch as you feel so helpless , I hope you manage to get through to your mum xx

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