Hi there ... so sorry your in such a difficult dilemma... I'm 63 as well and I'm on my breast cancer journey... all I can tell you is my personal opinion... I've been a big hospice supporter ... the ones I've known are the most amazing places, where they look at it, you don't go to die, you go to make the most of every day you have ... the ones that work there are very special, they all put their hearts into easing that last journey we all have to make at some point ... 

I've worked in N H S  hospital and care homes and know how little time they can give to patients at the end of life as they are so stretched and so understaffed... they do a wonderful job too ... but can't give what a hospice can offer ... I have asked my family if it comes to that stage for me to please get me in a hospice ... it will be my last wish ... I don't want to see my family going through that pain of caring for me .. I would rather them visit me there where they will see me settled and out of pain ... as they are top of their field in pain relief...

So dont beat yourself up ... I think you will be so glad to know how he will be cared for ... and you could visit as much as you feel you want too, without feeling totally exorsted... you have to be kind to yourself .. and look after your heart ... so sending you a big big hug ... chrisie xx

Oh bless ya .. they really are wonderful places .. they are angels (really mean that) I'm so glad .. it will help you so much I think by taking the pressure off .. look after your self and be kind to your heart .. would love to know how you go .. my thoughts are with you both .. and yes I'm 4 months post mastectomy and feeling fine as my bones are weak I've decided not to have treatment ... so making the most of every day .. especially with my little granddaughter Emily who's nearly 6 .. she brightens up every day and I'm filling these good days with as many great memories as I can ... 

Cancer wants to beat us to the ground and keep us down there .. so we won't let it .. you pack in some good memories as muchildren as you can ... a saying that I've put on my wall is .. don't wait for the storm to pass, learn to dance in the rain .... I lovery it , don't know about dancing though with my back but I can do a fare jig ... xx

Just want to say sorry about some of the spelling ... it's this dam predictive text ... keeps changing my words ...much not muchildren.. and love not lovery... xx

Hi,

Don't feel guilty - that's what hospices are there for.

The cruellest thing would be to keep him at home and not be able to care for him properly on your own, that would do neither of you any good.

Let someone else help provide for his physical needs, that way you can concentrate on giving him the love and emotional support which no-one else can provide. The hospice may also be able to provide you with some different kinds of support through counselling or support groups. 

Good luck to you both :-)

Dave