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Worrying about suicidal friend

Thatsheart
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Hi

I am worried about my friend (22) that suffers from cancer, which can’t be cured. All his/her life my friend has been severely depressed and socially anxious, on top of that my friend has got no friends and dislikes his/her family and other people. I am the only one this person talks and can open up to. Now the problem is, I live abroad and don’t know any family members or previous friends, or my friends address.

A few days ago, my friend has let me know that he/she will soon commit suicide because of being fed up with this world and its people.

I try to support my friend as much as I can, cause this person is very very important to me. And if you have ever face the situation where someone you know committed suicide, you’ll tell yourself that you try to prevent a next time whatever it may take. But recently my friend only cries and screams on the phone, telling me multiple times, he/she wants to die. It breaks my heart hearing my friend being miserable every day. I suggested seeking professional help for months, but my friend sees no point, because he/she is thinking about cancer as well and made bad experiences with a therapist once.

Because my friend has been through a lot I understand where my friend’s wish comes from and I worry a lot about what my friend will have to face with that unfair illness and I don’t want him/her suffering. But how can I just sit here and accept this persons wish to die? I don’t know what is right or wrong anymore… This person began to rely on me so much, I worry that things will end fatally if I have got work or things to do.

I could persuade my friend for hours to not commit suicide so he/she said okay, but hearing my friend asking and begging me for allowance to commit suicide… it starts to affect me… what if I am not here and something happens, because this person relies on me so much? I called helplines they always say the same, I should encourage my friend to seek help… but my friend doesn’t listen.

How would you people deal with that? I feel so alone…

If I call 999 or in my case 112 will they find my friend even if I only know the city, phone number, name and birthdate?

I appreciate your time.

 

  • Offline

    Hi Thatsheart,

    I'm sorry to hear about your friend. 

    We appreciate that you've already been told this, but we really would encourage you to try to get him/her to seek help themselves. 

    However, if you feel they are in immediate danger, you can call the police in the UK and provide them with the details you have. This link will give you the relevant numbers to dial from outside of the UK.

    I hope this is useful and that your friend is able to get the support he/she needs. 

     

  • Offline

    I am so sorry to hear about the situation you find yourself in.. You have done your best for your friend and you can not do anymore for your friend apart from Get On With Your Life and leave your friend to the professional psy hiatric team  Your friend is responsible for their self, You are not responsible for your friend. You are responsible for keeping yourself safe and sane. You have been a beautiful friend and now you need to be that beautiful friend to yourself. Your friend is mentally unstable and needs professional intervention. It is not your fault and you are not responsible for your friend or the situation they are in. You take care of you and hang up the phone. At least until they are mentally more stable..protect your own mental and emotional welfare, that is what you are responsible for... It sounds harsh but its true, take care of you x

  • Offline in reply to Moderator Helen

    Thank you so much for the attached link, I hope I'll never have to use them.

    In the meanwhile I'll keep on trying my best to motivate him to seek out for professional help... I wish my friend would listen to me someday.

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