Cancer and Dementia

Dad has had bladder cancer and his treatement ended 6 months ago and he was clear. he is 82. Recently the hospital found a tunour in his chest whilst doing pre ops for a hip operation. They don;t know yet if it is a primary lung cancer or a secondadry bladder cancer. During the appointment yesterday Dad was confused when the Dr was talking to him and he felt Dad might also have demetia and suggested we took him to a G.P to get him assessed. I feel that Dad is overwhelmed by whats been going on from being relatively helathy with a painful hip to baldder and now lung cancer in the space of a few months. He is also quite deaf and finds it hard to talk to the Dr because he is too terrified to ask questions -becasue the answers can be scary. So I am not sure if he had dementia or is overwhelmed. My mum has dementia and is on medication for it. Thsionly works in the early stages and there is no cure. i am reluctant to have Dad tested as he is goign through a lot at the moment and I don;t want to worry him more that we need to. At the same time I don't want to stop him taking dementia medecine which may help him in the early stages. Any advice?

  • Hi Heeky,

    I am so sorry to hear about the predicament you’re in with your dad. This must be difficult for you all to take in on top of your mum’s dementia. Can I ask how beneficial you have found he medication for your mum? Have you noticed any confusion with your dad before his diagnosis? I would imagine that a diagnosis like this would confuse anyone. I was only 61 when I was first diagnosed with breast cancer and I became very emotional and confused by the speed that everything was moving at.

    Try to monitor him at home and see if this settles once he learns to accept his diagnosis. My mother-in-law of 94 has had dementia for the past 5-7 years. My father-in-law is 97 and is looking after her. He is not keen to get her assessed, as his GP has advised against it, stating that she has enough to cope with just now. I feel that she would be better to try the medication and hopefully, by doing this, make life a little easier for him. Is your father going to have any treatment? Some treatments for cancer can play havoc with our mental capacities. My own mother died from breast cancer, which had spread to liver, lungs, brain and bone. She was perfectly lucid until the last 3 months, but she failed rapidly then.

    This has to be your decision. It is not one to take lightly, but I hope that you reach the best conclusion for him in the long run.

    Please keep in touch and let us know what you decide. We are always here for you whenever you want to talk.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

  • Welcome to Cancer Chat, Heeky. 

    I just wanted to stop by to suggest that the Alzheimer's Society helpline might also be a good source of advice: 0300 222 11 22. You can find out more about the support they offer on their website, too.

    Wishing you and your family all the best,

    Helen

    Cancer Chat moderator