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What do i do now

Lmcbride
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Hi 

I don't know what to write on this, my husband has lung cancer, he got diagnosed about 2 yrs ago. Its been tough for all of us. Sometimes I just feel lost and helpless, we have a good days and bad days. He's just finished a round of chemo and its floored him, the doctor is talking about alternitive treatment, we have an appointment next week to see what happens next, we both feel very scared and confussed. My husband say he's had enough, he's so tired and in pain all the time. I want to leave my work as I feel he needs me more but the big question is can I afford to. How do I cope with everthing. I feel I'm drowning at the moment. 

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    Hi there ... so sorry to hear how tough this time is being for you both ... that’s why lots of times it’s described as a rollercoaster.... it seems like you get put on this rollercoaster and there’s ups and downs and sometimes want to scream to just get off for a little while ...  just to have a break ... it does seem sometimes there’s no control you just have to hold on tight ..it’s a bumpy old ride .... 

    i have had osteoporosis, trapped nerve, stenosis and a few other problems as well as having this brest cancer too ... so I have a little knowledge of pain and can imagine how he feels ... but you know this cancer is cruel, it has no compassion... it wants to keep us down ... so what helped me, was I was determined to make the most of every day ... talking about how you feel and writing it down can ease things a tad ... try to get them to give him something stronger to help with pain ... I have morphine tablets here for when I need them ... I’ve heard oral morph is helpful ... 

    feeling lost and helpless and angry etc is so normal ... sometimes just feel like a good scream ... but then saying right now I’m back and will cope with everything as and when it comes up, really helps ... have you family or friends ... coz sometimes we just need a hug ... so sending you both loving thoughts ... let us know how you go ... a good rant on here does you good hunny ... take care Chrisie ️ Xx

  • Offline in reply to Chriss
    Thank you for your advice and kind words, I just feel im at a crossroads with him, i feel i need to be at home but at the same time, i need to work. I just don't know what to do as i know we will find it diffcult to cope with house hold bills. We do have some family support, my sister has been great but she is ill at the moment too and his family try but they have their own lives to lead. We try and stay positve but its hard. Thanks again im sending hugs and happy thoughts to you x
  • Offline in reply to Lmcbride

    Hi ... have you applied for any benefits yet for your hubby...coz that would help the finance and if you call McMillan they have someone there who can advise and see if your getting the extra money ... there is a care eliment too ... take all the help you can, you’ve payed into it for years ... it may be enough to help you maybe do a few less hours so it’s a half way between work / staying home ... could the family just sit with him for a few hours a week... so then you won’t be so torn ... this is the time to take some help... tell the McMillan line just how hard your finding things and there maybe things they can do to help ... i used to do voluntary work for them, visiting families who were needing someone to talk too ... and got them help for fixing things that needed doing ... some went shopping... it’s worth a try ... I don’t know what it’s like in your area ... 

    then try get your hubby pain relief to help him and then you may see a way forward ... but keep trying till you get some help and it will lighten your load ... there’s a helpline on here to if you want someone to talk too ... they can answer your medical worries too ... your braver then you realise... let us know how you go ... Chrisie xx

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