Hey.. I don’t know where do I start from or how do I express myself. 5days ago my boyfriend was diagnosed with mouth cancer which almost in the end of stage 2.1. The moment I heard this my life turned upside down. I was broken. Completely shattered and I still am shattered. I can’t digest the face that this is happening. He is someone who isn’t even into tobacco and all that. He said that he doesn’t want to date me anymore because he is very unsure about his survival. He said incase if anything happens to him then he does not want me to suffer and he wants to make me strong from now on. I told him I don’t care about the future, I just want to stay with him and i tried convincing him so much but he’s very adamant. He really loves me a lot and does not want to put my future at stake. He promised me if this cures he’ll come back to me and till then he just wants us to be friends. I really do not want anything to happen to him. I’m really scared and tensed and cannot imagine my life without him. He’s been my bestfriend and my constant. He’s made me such a better person. I really miss him as my boyfriend and his health is killing me. His health is on my mind all the time and I keep saying to myself don’t worry he’ll be fine he’ll be fine but what if he doesn’t become fine? I cry to myself the whole time. I try to be strong but I just break down. I feel so alone . I really want him to be fine. I can’t even imagine what will happen if he isn’t there. He’s the first person who has loved me and respected me so much and I pray everyday. I want him. I get so restless and breakdown when the thought of him not being there crosses my mind.
