Hi Beth,

Welcome to Cancer Chat, the site that nobody really wants to join.

I am so sorry to hear that you are having to deal with all your Dad's problems at only 17. Are you an only child or do you have other siblings? Please try not to worry about the enormity of the end result. It is far better if you can concentrate on making special memories with him and take a more positive outlook. This makes it easier for all of the family to cope, including your Dad. A diagnosis like this affects the whole family and we experience a whole raft of different emotions as a result. If you find yourself crying a lot, don't worry. This is perfectly natural and it is a good way to vent your feelings

Think of what you can do to make his life more comfortable. Instead of worrying about the time he has left and how bereft everyone will feel when it happens, try to deal with matters on a day-by-day basis. This is much easier than looking at the enormity of the bigger picture. Try to make him as comfortable as possible and concentrate on making memories with him while he is able.

There are many ways that you can help your Dad. They all sound very mundane, but will make a big difference to your Dad. He will probably feel very tired and his joints will possibly be aching. Is your Mum still with you? You can help out with day-to-day housework, washing, ironing, preparing tasty, appetising meals (chemo leaves a metallic taste in the mouth so all food tastes odd).. Are there any places he would like to go to or people he might like to see.

He may find holding a book, too heavy for him, in which case you can read to him. Make sure that his medication is controlling his pain properly, you can liaise with the nurses for this.. Just be there for him and tell him how much you love him.  Does he like music? Perhaps you could download some for him?  The main thing to do is to make memories

I feel for you. This is not an easy stage of the cancer journey. Somehow or other you find the strength to cope, and you do a lot of growing up at the same time. I hope that your Dad gets his treatment plan soon.

Please keep in touch and let us know how things go. We are always here for you whenever you feel like talking.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx