So I'm a 47 year old man with a wife who has going on 5 years of metasticised breast cancer. Went from breast to liver to brain. It's gone from the body, but the brain now has it. There are ups, and have been ups (its gone from the breast, liver), getting on TDM-1, having the 'fake' optimism of a blood transfusion in Febraury that led to a couple of joint bike rides. There's also the time that Herceptin wasn't working 3 years ago, and we got on TDM-1 via the 'cancer drugs fund'. There's been my wife's ability to do the breast cancer 5k run in Cheltenham with our tremendous teenage daughter (more of a stroll really). But dark days have returned with a third, and heaviest seizure in 3 years, 3 weeks post-radiation treatment to the brain. There's a distinct loss of mobility, awareness, and impaired vision. This didn't happen the last time (2 years exactly) when she first had the brain cancer diagnosed. So now its a waiting game, whilst I work at home, watch every step to the toilet in the morning, and after bathing, downstairs to the frontroom. Tremendous help and support from relatives (please NO MORE FLOWERS) are tempered by the awful truth - this isn't the life I wanted or planned. Of course it isn't for her either - or the kids. There are utter moments of beauty we hold onto - my son holding my mum's hand, talking her through the photos on his phone from the last holiday. But she's half a person at the moment. And we have to wait. Is it the steroids or the anti-epilepsy expressing these symptoms of neglect, or has the damage been done, and is it irrepreble? Will her brain recover? Will the cancer retreat? Was it even cancer, or simply necrotic tissue spreading that urged the consultants to re-treat, in an area already treated, leading them to say 'its completely uncertain what will happen, we've never re-treated the same lesion'? I presume there are many of you out there like me - just wondering? What do you do? Live from day to day? Enjoy the beauty of nature - a tree in the wind, a great work of art - a film, even quality things like the comfort of good bedding? Let me know how you cope?
