my brother has v recently been diagnosed , he has CUP and liver cancer. He is v down and we are watiing now for consultant appt after a lot of tests recently. How can i persuade him to talk to a help line ?
Welcome to Cancer Chat. I am sorry to hear about your brother's recent diagnosis. Do you think that a helplie would be better than a face-to-face with a cancer counsellor? There are many different organisations who offer this service free of charge for cancer patients. Does he talk to you about how he feels, or does he clam up completely? This can be a coping strategy for some people.
The nurses on this site are very helpful if you can persuade him to chat to someone. Their phone number is free to phone and is 0808 800 4040. There are also exercise classes and self-help groups that he could join.
Waiting for results is always a scary time. Once he has a treatment plan in place he will, I hope, begin to feel more positive about everything. It is perfectly normal for him to feel so down at present. Having a diagnosis like this is quite a shock to the system.
Just keep trying to persuade him to get the help he needs. I don't know whether you have a Maggies or The Haven anywhere near you? These are drop in centres. You could drop in with him, maybe just to have a cuppa and a natter at first. Once he meets people who are availing of some of the services offered in these centres, he may feel more inclined to use them himself. His Care Team should be able to put you in touch with similar groups in your area.
I wish you luck in persuading him to avail of some help. Please keep in touch. There is always someone here for you whenever you feel like talking.
Hi ... he does talk . you have to find the right time but he is opening up . he just wants to get on with it .. but we are now waiting for a consultant appt which we hope maybe this week ... i haven't heard fo those drop in centres. i will take a look . he is struggling with eating too as everything tastes awful at the moment .
I am glad that he talks to you and that you feel he is opening up. As treatment starts he may open up even more, because he will feel that he is finally moving in the right direction. I don't think that he should have much longer to wait for his results, so hopefully he may hear something this week. I am sorry to hear that everything tastes awful at present. Just a heads up for you here, this is a problem which can be made worse by chemo. Things tend to have a metallic taste.
Does he allow you to attend his appointments with him? My hubby always comes with me. We draw up a list of questions prior to any appointment. I take a copy and give my hubby a duplicate copy. He then writes down all the answers given in the consultation. This way we find that we don't forget to ask pertinent questions and we always have the answers to hand. Without this, we find that we have forgotten most of what was said by the time we reach the hospital gates. Your consultant will not be surprised by this move, as most of us need an aide memoire like this.
I am glad that I mentioned the drop in centres. These also offer services which you have to book. These include alternative therapies, which can help him to relax. These include Indian Head Massage, Reiki, Aromatherapy, Reflexology,Yoga. You have to book these services in advance. They also offer a counselling service. The good thing about these sessions is that they are all free of charge.
Don't be afraid to ask his cancer nurse what services are available in your area.
I hope that all goes well when he next sees his consultant.
