What can I say? 

I know all of us have a mother, but none (I say) that's quite like mine.

since I was born she has worked for our family (My father too) but working her whole life, cooked, cleaned, been the most fantastic mother/grandmother to my daughters. In fact the best anyone could ever wish for.

She was diagnosed back in 2011 with SCLung Cancer ... so she has had good innings with this god awful disease.

But a few months ago, after dying twice and being brought back was told the cancer had spread to her other lung. 

She has suffered immensely. And has been a recluse now for over a year. Only going out to attend appointments etc.

just recently we were told they wouldn't give her any more treatment and we were to "look outl" for symptoms.

symptoms we have no idea what would be?

only a couple a weeks ago she has started getting terrible headaches, terrible pains in her side, coughing up bits of blood, not much just a little. Hardly eating just dribs and drabs, she's not lost much weight but I can see weightloss around her face and shoulders (not so much stomach). 

Im beside myself, I try to visit as often as I can which is mostly every weekday but I don't know if it's some defence system but I'm trying to keep myself away even though I feel awful and please don't shoot me down but I just can't bring myself to see her the way she is.

when I nearly lost her twice I couldn't bare it. Just the thought of losing her brings me to tears. For years we would go shopping daily, always chatting she would always come up with some nonsense and we would just laugh about it. Going shopping without her just isn't the same and it probably sounds so stupid to some but it was important to me as we would always do this together and we haven't been for years. 

I just don't know what do do. Or where to look for answers and I know it's only going to get worse. 

I haven't got any solutions and it's killing me to watch her go through this when there is nothing I can do to help her.