Oh dear ... just must be wondering what else can be thrown at you ... you talk about how to care bout every one but you , bless ya ... I remember a time when I was like you feeling pulled every way by everybody an just wanted one day for ME  .... but I just took one problem  (after priorities where done) at a time and some how got through it .. but first we have to realise were only human and there's only 24 hours in a day .. and we don't have a magic wand  

So here I am grown old myself with grown boys with families of their own and you know what's weird... just sometimes I wish I was back there being needed again ... big hug and you will get through  ... your stronger then you know  .. braver then you imagine xx

Hi Punkflamingo,

Wow, you have got a lot n your plate, your Dad's timing is pretty lousy too.

Counselling might help, but what you really need is some practical help. Is there anyone you could ask to help out at home while you spend some time with your Mum? Maybe get your Dad to take the boys off your hands to give you a break?

Your Mum may not want anything to do with your Dad, but hopefully you'll be able to make him aware that things have taken a turn for the worse and that you need to concentrate your efforts on your own family and helping get your Mum through this latest set back. 

Chriss is right, you need to remember to look after yourself - you'll be no use to anyone if you collapse with exhaustion or completely lose the lot! The next few weeks will be difficult, all you can do is take it one day at a time and muddle through somehow. 

Best wishes

Dave

I couldn't have read anything that I empathise more with right now. Just want to offer a virtual hug & say I feel you. I'm not sure I have any practical advice myself (in fact I'm going to follow this thread and hopefully gain some advice myself) but one thing that people keep telling me is that you need to look after yourself before you can properly look after others. Which I agree with but it's hard to put into reality. 

My mum keeps joking about me packing in my job and caring for her full time but it's just not practical but it does play on the heart strings!!!

this is not an easy time and I think most carers seems to struggle with balancing everything & feeling that they are doing "ok". So maybe the first step is realising we aren't super women and we are going to have times where we take some time out to recharge the batteries and come back fighting. 

It's my birthday today. I left the house at 6am to drive a four hour round trip to take my mum to her 5 hour chemo session. We then had a little argument because she often is in a bad mood on chemo day. Just got home. Back to work tomorrow. People who haven't been there can ever understand how hard it is. 

Hang on in there. I'm sure you are doing amazingly xxx 

Thanks all for your replies. Mum's symptoms have improved and we're now waiting for the results of her scan - it doesn't look like it is compression now so we're hopeful the results will be positive.

I do try to take time for me but I'm the only one without a major illness or caring needs so I see myself as low priority. I also have a bad habit of feeling it should be me who looks after everyone and I feel bad if I share the load - I'm trying to get over this as I know it's not helping anything.

Mandy I just want to send a massive hug right back. I really empathise, my birthdays kind of disappear into everything else these days. If you want to chat feel free to send me a message, maybe we can help support each other.

Thanks again everyone. I feel better just for offloading and will take on board all you have said xx