Hi Mandy,

Welcome to Cancer Chat.

I am so sorry to hear about your husband's diagnosis. Something that people do not always appreciate is that cancer does not just affect the patient, but the whole family too. I am sure that his diagnosis will have come as a terrible shock to you.

Five months is a long time for him to stay in hospital and also a long time for you to visit him on a daily basis. Do you have any family or friends who could relieve you of having to go every day by visiting him occasionally? Trying to juggle home and work life with daily visits is difficult and you need to be careful that you don't burn yourself out, as you will be no use to anyone if you are laid up too.

I am sure that your husband will look forward to your visits while he is in hospital. He is likely to feel frightened at the possibility of death. isolated,  at being in hospital for so long and feeling generally miserable from the side-effects of cancer.

Please keep in touch and let us know how he gets on. There is always someone here whenever you feel like talking.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

So sorry to hear about your situation Mandy. 

One of the things I quickly found out when my mum was in hospital for a long period of time was that there was no way I could juggle everything without it having a detrimental effect on me. I ended up getting really ill as I was rundown which didn't help anyone. 

I'm sure your husband will understand if you have a chat with him and come up with a realistic visiting schedule whilst not burning out yourself. We set up a Rota system within the family. So that mum had a visitor most days but we didn't end up with 5 of us one day and none the next.

I hope the treatment goes well and that your husband is soon back home. 

Mandy  xxx