Hello Mrsjig,

Welcome to the forum. I am so sorry to hear about your Dad's diagnosis. This must be particularly hard for you when he won't discuss his prognosis. Would he allow you to accompany him to his appointments? This can be very helpful for both of you. It is also helpful to draw up a list of questions each time before he goes to his consultations.

It is so distressing to watch his health deteriorating so quickly. I nursed my Mum who had breast cancer for 12 years. She developed metastases in her final year and I found this absolutely heart-breaking to watch. I now have breast cancer myself and have had 2 bouts of primary breast cancer. I have found that it was so much easier to talk about my treatments and prognosis. Your Dad is possibly trying to protect you all from the worry of an unfavourable outcome.

I do hope that he can get his pain controlled better and that he eventually opens up to you.

Please keep in touch and let us know how things go. There is always somebody here if either of you feel like talking.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hello ... I lost my dad in a similar way too ... he was an amazing dad / grandad who adored children and was so gentle and kind and everyone loved him .. I only found out after he had gone he was badly abused as a child .. so how he turned out so wonderfully amazes me...

I think of him as the man he was before he lost weight and was in so much pain... soon as I think of him at the end , I push those memories away and remember him doing magic tricks and the stories he made up at bed time ...

I'm sure you can recall your lovely dad in good times ... keep them close to your heart and he will look down with pride I'm sure when his time comes... I'm on my cancer journey  now and we worry bout our babies and how they would cope ... but if I go I would love to see them miss me but carry on and smile with their little ones .. sending you a big hug and hope this helps a little  xx