Hi Lerryn,

Welcome to Cancer Chat. I am so sorry to hear about your Mum's diagnosis and can fully understand why you are still in shock. The thought of anything happening to our Mums is always scary. I lost my own dear Mum to secondaries from breast cancer 20 years ago. In the end she had it in her liver, lungs, brain, breast and bones. Now I've been fighting breast cancer myself for the past 7 years.

Has your Mum been having health issues for a while, or is this fairly recent? It shouldn't be long before you get the results of her tests back, then you can start to discuss treatment options. None of us cope very well when waiting for results. This is a frightening time for both of you. Do you have any other family members, or are you coping with all of this on your own?

Sadly, although this is all totally new to you, you will soon find that you are quite familiar with everything that is happening. It is particularly difficult to take it all in at first, because everything happens so quickly. This is because the sooner cancer is caught, the better the chances are, so I bet that you feel as if you've been railroaded just now.  

A lot depends upon the stage that your Mum's cancer is at, as to what you can do for her (you will find this out soon). The main thing is to keep her comfortable and to let her know how much you love her. Try not to dwell on the bigger picture - this is often too much for us to take in. Instead try making family memories where you can. Take things day-by-day. Is there any place that your Mum would like to visit or people that she would like to see?

Does she have any hobbies that she could indulge in? Is she interested in music? I imagine that she will feel quite tired at times, so encourage her to sleep when her fatigue overcomes her. See that she has healthy and appetising meals and help her with housework, ironing, etc.

Please keep us informed as to how she is getting on, There is always someone here if either of you feel like talking.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hello ... so sorry as this is such a hard time ... you must be feeling so many emotions at the mo ... l lost my mum and she was my best buddy too with heart Attack and had no time to even say good bye

That was 27 years ago and I still miss her ... so all I can say is just tell each other your feelings and as someone with cancer at the mo I found crying /hugging and yes something to smile at with my son too will give you lasting memories to take with you ...

sending you a big hug and know many have walked your path and we all send our thoughts to you both ... xx