Hello twiz26 

I'm really sorry to hear that your mum isn't doing so well. You shouldn't feel ashamed of being scared at all its a natural thing to be scared I've been there with my mum she had a different type cancer but I didn't have anyone to ask these questions too I have learnt that reading about it online only makes you worry more and that's not good for you you could talk to your mum about moving in but I ouldny push she tell you what's right for her there will come a point she no longer wants to eat but that's ok she s just doing what her bodie wants have you asked her what you can do sometimes if you can find some time just sitting with her might help talk about all your happy memorise ease feel free to message me I will help in any way I can to help you through all the questions you may have x

Hello! So sorry to hear this. I too am in a position of looking after my mum who was diagnosed almost a month ago with secondary liver cancer. We think the primary is in the oesophagus. She was admitted into hospital with what she thought were gallstones. She left a week later knowing she was terminally ill. I think I'm still in shock and dealing with each day differently. Last week for example I was asking the exact same questions as you. This week I feel a tad more confident I no what is going on and Is likely to happen. From the start my mum has asked the doctors to contact me and take calls for her. Iv found that great from my point of view because I've been able to ask some questions that I perhaps wouldn't if she was in the room. I expect your mum will be given a clinical nurse if she hasn't already? You can call them with any worries you may have. How your feeling right now is absolutely normal and if you have questions or worries about her care, treatment or symptoms you absolutely must tell them. You no her best and they will respect that. Only this morning I had a good chat with my mums clinical nurse. I raised a few concerns and now she has put us in contact with a hospice to come out and chat with mum about her needs and care. The clinical nurse made it clear that the hospice aren't just for end of life care but a great help before that stage. Wish I could help more but like you I'm still quite new to this. Iv been told that it soon begins to make sense... here's hoping ah?! X x

Thank you Poppy22. Im not having a  good day today. Keep crying for no reason and Im at work so its not ideal ... I dont know whether I should be being practical and talking about things like utilities and finances to get ready for whats in store for us or just ignoring it all and treating mum like shes going to be there in the future for everything. I cnat imagine not having her there. x

Thank you for replying Pinkflame. Your note is lovely, caring and sensible. Yes the Macmillan nurses helped me fil lin some forms yesterday becuase as soon as it got to the bit about not being expected to live longer than 6 months I fell apart. My brain is telling me that no-one lives forever and that I need to be practical but my emotions keep taking over. Is your mum at home then? Is she on her own? xx