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Jenna22
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Ok so my dad has been unwell recently we have been back and forward to the doctors. They sent him for a chest x-ray a few days later he got a letter to go for a ct scan then a letter came to go to the respiratory department at the hospital that isn't until this Monday 7th Aug. 

However we were at the doctors on Tuesday and he had a quick look at the X-ray and said it's looking like a lung cancer that is also on his spine , lower back and ribs. He said it's looking more like palliative care than being able to be treated. He did say take what he said with a pinch of salt and wait until Monday to see what the hospital have to say! 

My whole world has been ripped apart I've always been such a daddy's girl. My heart is breaking. I have took the decision and brought my wedding forward to 22nd September 7 weeks away, my dad's wish has always been to see me married before he passes and I want nothing more than my dad to give me away on my big day. Everything is in place for 22nd. But now I just keep thinking what if my dad is to sick to attend or worse what if he is gone. Has anyone been in this position that can talk to me. If it is terminal how long do you think we have got? I'm hoping the wedding will give him something to keep strong for. 

  • Welcome to the forum no one wants to join, Jenna22.

    I'm so sorry to hear about your dad and that you have to go through this right before your wedding.

    There are many members here who have been in a similar situation and hopefully, you'll get a chance to chat with them very soon, as talking does seem to help.

    Meanwhile, please feel free to post as much as you need, we are here to listen.

    Best wishes to you and your dad,

    Renata, Cancer Chat Moderator

     

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    Hi Jenna. 

    Although I cannot say how long your dad has my mum has been diagnosed with the same and they have given her about a year, they have however said if she responds better to treatment than expected it could be several years which is a big difference. I think it's so lively you've brought your wedding forward so soon and I don't think you could do anymore. My mum has just started chemo and they said it's usually during the end of the first week after chemo that you actually start feeling the side effects. lots of sleep has helped her feel less tired and I also borrowed a wheelchair for a recent event and she was absolutely fine.

    honestly you need to wait for the hospital to tell you the diagnosis, they will answer your questions eventually. the problem is they can never answer your questions as soon as you have them, you always have to wait.

    im only 23 and i cannot give my mum a grandchild so soon. i was expecting her to grow old and I would look after her then but I am doing it all now.Its the little things like that, that hurt.  it's so hard to think about the things you can't do but you must not focus on that.    keep  strong and keep him smiling and thinking positive, just be there and keep fighting it together. sending big hugs and I hope you have a lovely day. 

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    Hi Jenna,

    I guess by now you will have been to the hospital.

    Whatever prognosis you are given should be taken with a pinch of salt. At best these are informed guesses and there are too many variables, both between individual patients and between each individual cancer, for an accurate prediction of how long any of us has. 

    Good luck

    Dave

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    Hi Jenna, We are going through something very similar at the moment. My father was diagnosed last September with stage 4 lung cancer which has spread to his liver and lymph nodes. We were told it couldn't be cured and that there was only a 2% chance he would make 12 months. 11 months later and he's thankfully still here! Although he is poorly he is trying to stay positive for himself and the family. I got engaged last month and as soon as I said yes I began planning the wedding for November this year to ensure her would be able to walk me down the aisle. A few weeks ago he became upset because he was worried it wouldn't make it to November so we have moved it forward to September. I can honestly say this year has been the worst year of my life and so much has changed but having the wedding to plan has not only given us all something to look forward to but it has taken our minds off of the situation. I am like you in that I am a daddy's girl and everyday breaks my heart, but my dad and I assume yours wouldn't want us to have our big day dampened. They want the best for us, as they always have. I am so sorry to hear about your dads diagnosis, I completely understand your pain, but do try to be strong for him. But also don't feel weak if you cry when you're on your own, I do it often. I am thinking of you, I hope your big day plans come together and that you have the most perfect day. Beth X
  • Offline in reply to Grinch00

    Hi Beth so good to hear from someone who is going through something so similar. I could of wrote some of what you said myself. I feel exactly the same about the wedding it's giving us all a great focus and my dad is really looking forward to it it's giving him an aim. The wedding is only 4 weeks on Friday seems so soon but so far away if you get that? My dad seems to be deteriorating fast , he is totally off his food he is hardly eating at all and he is getting really unsteady on his feet. He was at hospital last week for a bronoscopy we go back on Friday for the results of that. Everything just seems to be raking so long all the waiting is driving me mad. I'm so sorry to hear about your dad it really isn't easy and I hope your day is just perfect. Xx

  • Offline in reply to davek

    Thank you Dave, yes we have been to the hospital they just pretty much said the same as the gp. They sent him for a bronoscopy last Wednesday to get a closer look we go back on Friday to see what they are saying. He seems to be deteriorating fast which is heartbreaking to see. 

    Jenna

  • Offline in reply to Jenna22

    You may find that treatment makes a diiference, once it gets going. I am on palliative treatment for inoperable cancer and over the last year I have improved, in terms of my ability to walk and do things. No one gave me a prognosis, which is good because I have an open-ended view of life. I hope that your dad will be able to pick up and look forward to the wedding. Wishing you all the best.

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