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Mum has cancer.

Pearl-14
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I'm only 18 years old and my mum has now had cancer for the third time in 5 years. First breast cancer in 2013, then bowel cancer in 2015, and now it's all over her abdomen. My sister is in pieces and my dad has no idea what to do. I feel as though I am carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders and I am going off to university in September and I can't help worrying about not seeing my mum. The thought of not being there terrifies me yet I know if I don't go to uni she will blame herself. I have no idea how to cope with this, as this time, the cancer may very well kill her. It wasn't as serious the first two times and I feel as though it became normal in some way, which made her almost terminal diagnosis terrifying. The thought of her missing my graduation and my wedding and my kids is an awful feeling and I don't know how to cope. I have always hated talking about my feelings, and seeing the therapist my mum forced me to speak to somehow made it worse. Any tips on how to even slightly deal with this would be extremely helpful. 

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    Hi Pearl,

    sorry to read about your mother. I lost my mother to breast cancer over sixteen years ago.

    While she was suffering from the cancer, I have never felt so helpless in my life. I felt I wanted to help her but apart from being there to support her, there was nothing much I could do medically wise. 

    It is always difficult to talk about our feeling sespacially when its face to face for we feel very vunerable. But on here it is far easier to open up about our fears and feelings as we will never meet the other people on here. Just the simple act of writing about how we feel often helps.

    Apart from that I cany offer any advice ecept to make the most of the time you spend with your mother as making memories is important.

    Sending best wishes and kind thoughts to you and your family, Brian.

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    Hello Pearl! I stumbled across this post as I'm doing research on this topic, and I felt deeply moved and connected. I am in a really similar situation as you. I am also 18 and going to Uni this fall as well! And my mom has been diagnosed with cancer recently and is at stage 4 which is terminal. She is known to be on her last moments. And I'm barely starting to comprehend everything that is going on. I too have come across the thoughts of her not being able to be there for me in then future either. My marriage , future children, graduations, etc. Its really sickening to think about. Although I have a complicated relationship with her and wasn't raised by her or lived with her, I am still distraught by all this and feel as I'm losing a part of myself and life. I also hate talking about my feelings as well (but here I am doing it lol), I've kept it all bottled up for the past 4 months, till now since I've been seeing her daily at the hospital. I wasn't moved emotionally till now and wasn't seeking out support or comfort till now. I was told by her doctor to find a middle ground and talk to a therapist/counselor/priest to just vent out with everything going on. Since as a teen/young adult it's all a lot to take on. And once I start Uni in the fall I will try to talk to a counselor there and see if that works. Sorry it doesn't work for you though :( ANYWAYS , I don't have advice for you sadly but I read your story and found it comforting that I wasn't the only person in the world going through it and just felt the need to connect. I hope you can feel the same. And i send the best of wishes and love and regards all the way from Los Angeles to you and your mom and family. I really hope you can find some peace within yourself. (: xx

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