Hi Katie,

I can only imagine what you are going through, when my Mum had terminal cancer we talked about it quite openly which helped us all get through. Now I'm the cancer patient, I do my best not to have any secrets from my family.

Are there any support services local to you that might give you some face to face support? Your local MacMillan, your GP or Maggies might be able to point you in the right direction.

Good luck

Dave

Hi Katie,

I'm so sorry you and your family are going through this. I've definitely found talking to people on here has helped me understand the different emotions you experience going through this so I'm glad you've reached out.

My dad was told his cancer returned earlier this year and is now terminal, he was definitely in denial at first but after attending our local hospice for therapy days and using the support at Maggies I've noticed he's now coming to terms with it. Have you or your mum used any of the support there like Dave suggests above? I was apprehensive going to Maggies at first as I didn't feel I needed support when it's my dad that's ill so should be supported, but I'm really glad I went.

My daughter is only a baby so in a sense I'm lucky that she's oblivious to what's happening but I know my sister who has older children like you worries about how this will affect them, especially seeing their strong grandad become less able. As hard as it must be, its good they are asking questions as it will ease the fear of the unknown. Perhaps you could ask them to write their favourite memories or 3 things they would love to do with your mum and show her? It might make her see that there's still time to make more memories.

It must be terrifying being in her position and perhaps she feels it will be easier for you and your family once she's gone if she's distanced herself. Has she opened up to you about how she's feeling? 

People on here have told me not to look at the future as it's too difficult and painful for someone to do when they are faced with this. Instead, take one day at a time and make the most of the good days. My dad isn't one for crazy adventures, his perfect day is spending time with his grandchildren and family so we are just trying to do this as much as possible. 

Dont worry about babbling, it's what we are here for xxx