Welcome to the forum Nikki although I'm really sorry to hear your mum has been diagnosed with cancer for a 3rd time and is struggling at the moment.

Have you been able to chat with your mum about how she feels and ask her what you can do to make life easier for her? Maybe a heart to heart where she can tell you what she needs may help. You may even find just taking a step back and giving her a sense of normality may be the best support of all.

Many members here will understand what you and your mum are going having been in similar positions themselves and hopefully some of them will be along soon to offer their support and advice. I have included a discussion I found on the forum which I hope will be of some help to you at as well. Our members are very welcoming so do join in as it's always good to talk to others with similar experiences.

Kind regards, 

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hi Nikki123, 

I'm sorry to hear about your mom. I can relate to some of the emotions that you are feeling and some of the fears you have of not doing enough or not knowing what to do to help her. My dad was diagnosed a year ago on this day with Stage 4 Prostate cancer. There's been a lot of feelings with this being the one-year point of finding out. I'm 26 and my sister is 24, so I think we are in very similar situations. My dad seems to be doing okay right now, and we just try to spend as much time together as possible. 

I don't know if this will help at all, but I do have a friend's whose sister was diagnosed with Stage 4 breast cancer, and she is still around 2 years later. I know each person is different, but trying to focus on the positives may make it a little easier. I also find that knowing that other people are also going through a situation and that I'm not alone, it can help a little bit too. 

As for helping your mom specifically, I would just say try to enjoy every moment you have and try not to focus on the future too much. I've asked my dad if there was anything i could do for him, and he always tells that as long as I'm taking care of myself and doing things to make myself happy, then he's happy. I know it's extremely difficult and I still have moments where I'm extrememly angry, bitter, and emotional but I'm trying to take each day as it comes, and trying not to focus on the negative aspects so much. I know this is stuff that is easier said than done, but hopefully you can feel like you aren't so alone, and that if you ever need to talk, please do!! There are some very supportive people on here!