My 60 year old Mum has just been diagnosed with BreastCancer

Hello, 

My 60 year old mum just told me today that she has to have chemotherapy because she has cancer. She actually kept this from me because she didn't want to worry her and because she was resisting having a treatment. 

I think she caught the cancer very early on due to her yearly mamogram (Thank you to our Gyno who reminded her about her yearly check up) and she has good chances of survival. 

But everytime I google something about Cancer, it makes me want to cry and I honestly read so many different things that I am feeling lost. 

What I am trying to say is that I would just appreciate it if you could offer me guidance on the following: 

How to be there for her during chemo? 

What is she going to feel? Is chemo that bad? 

Is there an alternative to chemo? Or natural remedies to protect and boost her immune system? 

What should I do at home to minimise risks of infection? 

 

I'm actually going to move back home to take care of her. It's just so hard because she worked so hard all her life and now that she was going to retire, she was hit with this. And on top of that, she says it comforts her that it's her and not I. I'm very close to my mum, I am devasted. 

Thank you for reading this x

  • Hi Jacky. I'm sorry to hear about your mum. I truly understand how you're feeling as I was in exactly the same position 2 years ago. My mom was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and it was devastating news. I was numb and so was the rest of my family but my mom was scared. The only way I knew was to keep mom strictly in a positive mind. It was the only way. Mind over matter. Keep your mum always thinking positive as the minute you don't things take over.. bad thoughts bad feelings. Also Jacky please stop googling cancer.. I did exactly the same and it scared the hell out of me! The best website is the official cancer site but even then it's still scary stuff. The best advice is the advice from your mum's specialist /doctor. Be there to hold her hand because that's what she'll need. Go with her to every chemo appointment. I thought it would be depressing place but it isnt! People were chatting all in good positive spirits. We took magazines, and mom was given a sandwich we'd drink tea until it came out our ears! We had a laugh. We knew it wasn't funny but it was both our ways to cope. Chemo was not that bad for mom because she did exactly what she was told to do. The main one was to DRINK gallons of water because it helps to stop your body suffering the bad symptoms. Sickness,headaches etc. She took all the tablets that was given to her she never left one out! My mom had chemo in the winter time so only way to stop infection was not to go out but your mum will be having chemo in the good weather so bit more difficult. Tell your mom to not ignore the tiredness.. she must sleep and rest when her body tells her to. Don't fight it.. it's not a sign of failure it's a sign of understanding it. Mom drank and still drinks glass of warm water every morning with a squeeze of fresh lemon. It's good for flushing impurities away! Mom ate a lot of fresh fruit and green veg as much as possible to help her immune system. Google which ones are the best for immunity. Her taste buds disappeared too but mom still ate what she could just to keep her strength up. It came back quite quickly. Grapefruit is a fantastic example and mom still eats it today! Be strong Jacky she'll look for you for strength even when you feel exhausted yourself keep on going for your mum. I cried a lot for my mom but it was always behind closed doors. Thankgoodness your mom found it early as did my mom but with ovarian the signs are very vague. She's still going for 3 month checks but touch wood all is going well.. my mom still stays positive and that's what's got her through this! I thought about alternative treatment but at the end of the day chemo was definetly the better choice. It did its job!! Keep on going Jacky you can do this for your mum she'll need you more than ever. But it wont last forever and she'll come through this. So will you . Stay strong stay positive xx I hope this has helped in some way and I'll be praying for your mum and my thoughts are with you. I'm always here for a chat not obviously about technical stuff but the emotional side of this. I also have taken part in the Race for Life twice as its my way to say thanks to all the research that goes into finally helping give cancer a good kick and helping my mom. Take care of yourself too you need to be well also! Best wishes, Toni x
  • Thank you Toni so much, your message made me cry! Thank you for your support and I'm very glad that your mom is feeling better! Both my sister and I freaked out big time but now we are both determined to help her fight it. 

    We're looking into getting her a new TV to keep her occupied, teach her about Netflix!, getting anti allergy sheets, new towels, shoes only for the house, plants, etc. At least one of us will be there at all times and I'll make sure she takes her pills because she can be quite stubborn! 

    The water with Lemon is a great idea. I'm going to buy eccinachea, manuka honey and all the things I actually begged her to take for years but she wouldn't listen! I guess this was her wake up call. 

    Her tumor is relatively small and hasn't hit her lymph notes yet, but they're worried it will so chemo is the only solution to her. It's her 60th birthday, we might get her a nice wig although that seems a little morbid! 

    Thanks again for your advice, I'll cherish it and apply it! I'll keep you posted once we start the Chemo. I promise I'll stay strong.. 

    All my love to you and your mum <3 <3 

  • Hi Jacky thanks for your reply! I didn't mean to make you cry! I'm glad that ive helped in some way but it sounds like you're getting prepared in helping your mum and that's great! It's not morbid about the wig it's thinking logical my mom wore a head scarf and she looked lovely you can buy so many different ones on the internet as well as wigs. Mom didn't feel like wearing a wig think it just never crossed her mind. Her hair soon grew back though once treatment was over. The ecchinachia and Manuka honey sounds like a great idea and yes my mom swears by the lemon water! All my love to you and your mum too and yes please keep me posted ok xx

  • Hi Jacky it's Toni . Was just thinking about you and your mum... how's things going? Hope you're ok and thinking of you.. Let me know how you are,  love to you both xx

  • Hi Jacky was thinking of you and how your mum is doing and how you and your sister are coping.l do understand there's lots to do and sort out. Let me know when you can how you are and your mum.. always thinking of you out there! ♡♡♡