Dad is 86 and recently diagnosed with non Hodgkin lymphoma. Until 6 weeks ago he had never really been ill and was not on any medication.  He has been in hospital for over a month as his heart rate was very high but then his blood pressure would suddenly drop.  He had his first chemo on May 1st and was ok to start with. He was transferred to his local hospital (he lives on an island) but within a week was airlifted back to mainland in the middle of the night as his blood count was so low.  I am struggling with the fact that the chemo is making him so unwell. The oncologist says he has worst case of oral thrush she has seen. He is barely eating understandably but this was also the case before chemo. Not drinking much either. Chemo is palliative. My stepmother is happy that he is having chemo and says all that is happening is to be expected and it will give us more time with him but I am finding it so hard to see him like this. I don't want to lose him, having lost my Mum last year but watching him so unwell is heart breaking. Has anyone else felt this way and how did/do you deal with it? Thanks.