You must have been so frightened when you thought you had almost lost her. She's your mum and if you want to stay with her, sit beside her, hold her hand or talk to her then you do so. There's not harm in it and you're not disturbing her. Time is vital now and it isn't to be wasted so ignore what others say, that's how I would be. Try not to feel guilty about leaving your kids with others, I'm sure those who are looking after them understand the situation. I always leave my little boy when I go and see my dad but I know he's in safe hands and it's more enjoyable for him than sitting in a hospital. No you're right it's hard to find people around you who can relate through the same situation. There's not a lot of support given to families affected. X

Hi again,

I am sorry to hear that you have had to move your mum to a different hospital, but hope that she is getting better care now. It is tragic that  you have to move someone who is so desperately ill yet, I am sure that you are glad that you did it.

I am also sorry to hear that you had a problem with her drain. Surely there must be a solution to such a simple problem, especially when you think of the number of people who now need this treatment?

I am glad to hear that you have managed to gently prepare your son. Children are very matter of fact at this stage.

I went through the same sleepy stage with mum. I was by her side and talking to her alll the time and I felt that she got some solace from that. Doctors say that patients who are unconscious can still hear what you say and , I felt that this was the case with mum - besides, it was all that I could do at the time and I felt selfishly, that I had to be able to give her a sense of familiarity in an otherwise alien environment.

It must be difficult to arrange babysitters so that you can be with her as much as possible. Don't feel guilty about this. I'm sure that your children are being well looked after and that whoever you have taking care of them will be only too glad to take some of the burden off your shoulders, given the circumstances. Remember that you only have a finite time left with your mum and you have no idea how long this is likely to be, so you have to make the most of it.

It is so hard to watch a loved one suffering, knowing that there is nothing that you can do to ease the pain. I wouldn't worry about your siblings at present - do what you feel is right for your mum. That way you won't have any additional regrets after she has gone.  

Isn't it strange how the doctor decided to keep your mum in hospital when you put the responsibility back with the hospital if anything went amiss? You may not feel that you are doing much to help her but what would happen if you weren't there? She would still be in the first hospital or at home and, by the sound of things neither would be the best solution for your mum.

I remember just how quickly my mum deteriorated at the end and wouldn't wish that on anyone.I hope that you find the strength to carry on for as long as needed.

Thinking of uou both,

Jolamine xx