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How to cope?

Hjones
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My mum has tongue cancer which has spread to the salivary gland. It's operable but she will have her whole tongue removed a full neck dissection, teeth removed and jaw broken along with skin grafts. It's happened soooo fast. The op is on Weds she's coping pretty well and being extremely brave. I'm not, I'm not looking foward to taking her Tuesday and having our last convo as she won't be able to speak properly again eat or swallow. So frightened about seeing her for the first time afterwards in intensive care. My emotions are all over the place. Just wish it was a bad dream. I hope she can cope with the outcome. Atleast she's alive but coping with how different life will be. Cancers so cruel. It's breaking my heart. X

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    I've just seen your post and have to say your mum sounds bloody amazing as do you for supporting her and staying strong. I've had a battle of cancer with my mum and sadly lost her 7 weeks ago. All I can say is stay strong,look after your mum and yourself and be proud. Enjoy being with your mum and treasure every moment. Big hugs and much love to you and your mum x

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    Stay strong, being strong is the best thing you can do as she will look to you. I always believe my mum was the strongest person I have ever known but it turns out she relied on my strength to help her strength. My mum has survived her battle with cancer and family is the strength to see you through everything. X
  • Offline in reply to MontyDoodles

    I'm all the family she has. I'm trying so hard to be strong for her xxx

  • Offline in reply to Charlotte07

    Thanks Hun. She's amazing and coping so well, but she hasn't cried yet. She's got her bags ready for hospital. I'm so sorry about your mum Hun. It's the worst situation to be in. Wake up every morning and then I remember what we're going threw. I'm so sad my hearts breaking for her xxxx

  • Offline in reply to Hjones

    I was there through every step of my mums treatment and I know she appreciated it and felt loved so you've just got to find that inner strength and keep going for her. If I can do then so can you. I know how hard it is but I also know we are stronger than we realise at times like this. Sending you much needed strength and love. You can do this xx

  • Offline in reply to Hjones

    Hey, I'm just wanted you to know that I'm thinking about you and your mum. I hope that you are ok because I know how tough it is staying strong.

    big hugs 

    Charlotte xxx

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    My heart goes out to you and your mom. My mom has had a radical neck resection, removal of part of her tongue and has speech issues. She did well for 18 months but now, cancer is back. She has elected to forego treatment since she is 76 and lost my dad to cancer last year. She is enjoying walking on the beack, being with her dog and having all of us kids around. She also loves to watch the birds and butterflies in her flower garden.

    I dont think there is any "right" choice, Each person has to decided how far they will go to seek treatment or just more time. i tolld my mom I would support any decision she made. It is scary that she has chosen to live  out of hospital and doctors office and stay at home with our support. There is so much loss no matter which path is chosen. I just say to you...hug her, touch her, tell her how important and valuable she is and remind her of all she did for YOU once. Honor her and let her know you will be there, no matter what.

    YOU HAVE COURAGE. You can do this. Lean on those you love. Allow yourself to grieve. Bless your beautiful heart and you both are in my prayers. All the best to you!

    nurse from Boston, MA, USA   

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