Hi,

This will be a very trying time for you. It is always difficult to see someone deteriorating, yet feel powerless to help.

The best thing you can do is to just be there for your mum. Does she take someone with her to her appointments?  If not, could you be that special person?

Because we are usually so worked up at the time of a consultation we often forget what has been said. Having a second person with her can be helpful in many ways. It is reassuring for your mum. Between the two of you,  you will probably manage to return home with more answers than your mum would manage on her own.

This also gives you a chance to ask questions and to get some answers about what type of cancer your mum has,etc. You can always help her to draw up a list of questions to take along with her to see her surgeon – making a list in advance means that you don’t forget to ask pertinent questions.

If you can be as stoic and factual as your mum, she will probably find this very helpful. I’m not saying that it’s easy, but you will have to be the strong one now.

Is she well enough to have an outing to a cinema, theatre or to visit family or friends? If so, it is always good to make some happy memories rather than dwelling on the cancer.

We are always here to support you. I hope that the radiotherapy doesn’t knock the stuffing out of here as the chemo did – I doubt that it will.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx